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The Daily SlackerThe Daily Slacker

C'Mon Baby, Let's Do the Wist!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Long like the Pudgy Checkered man!

Anyway, it just happens to be Wednesday, and I have my MP3 player going, so time for the Wednesday Wist it would be!

In case you're not familiar:

How do you participate in Wednesday Wist? You take whatever music player you use, put it on shuffle, grab the first 5 songs and write what that song makes you remember. If it's a new song...and you can't relate it to a memory....do you like it? Leave a comment if you do it on your site and if you don't have a site, comment your wist here! Oh...and feel free to comment about my songs as well!!!

1. Jewel - Hands:

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK. And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful, and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless, I won't be idle with despair. I will gather myself around my faith, for light does the darkness most fear."

It's a pretty simple message. Gotta have faith. Be it in you God or gods, or simply in other people. People who lack faith in anything but themselves are rarely happy people. At least in my observations...

2. Pink - Family Portrait:

"I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away. Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way. It ain't easy growin up in World War III, never knowin what love could be, well I've seen. I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family."

This doesn't hit that close to home for me like I'm sure it would for some. I have a pretty good family even if my dad and I have to struggle to get along sometimes. Things got rough for a while before I left for college, the D word even came up. But they're back to decent now. It would have to be rough on a younger kid though.

3. Orbital - The Box:

Can't really give you any lyrics for this one since there aren't any. Just William Orbit doing his thing layin down some good tunes. It has a kind of spooky, sci-fi feel to it. Good beat, not real fast, but keeps ya going.

4. Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box:

"Hey! Wait! I got a real complaint. Forever in debt to your priceless advice."

I remember trying to actually figure out if there was some sort of message in this song. I'm fairly certain there's not. I just like the guitar riff in this one. Fun to listen to.

5. Aerosmith - Janie's Got a Gun:

"She had to take him down easy, and put a bullet in his brain. She said 'cause nobody believes me, the man was such a sleaze. He ain't never gonna be the same."

A couple years of homework were made a little more tolerable by this band. At night, up in my room jammin to "Pump" and other various Aerosmith CDs. A little tunage un the background always made that homework go by a little better.

OK, I'm off, got a huge project to take care of. Keep and eye out for the new Slacker's Spotlight tomorrow or Friday!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 2:38 PM, ,

Slackerly Resources

Hey all, ease of use, all of the helpful International Bureau of Slacking Guides and Tools have been consolidated into one area.

Browse down to Slacker Resources in the bar on the right and continue to slack and procrastinate!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 10:34 AM, ,

Trivial Trivia!

Hey all, while I'm working on my Wednesday wist, why don't ya stop over to the Trivia site and see if you can answer my question!

We Want to Be on a Game Show!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 9:56 AM, ,

Slacker's Guide for Women

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

From time to time here at the International Bureau of Slacking we like to reach out to the community and not only make it less productive, but also improve the relationships of the land. After all, friends don't let friends be productive ;O)

Originally, this was going to be a set of rules for women to help them deal with us male types. After some consideration though, it was decided that "rules" were much to rigid of a thing for the slackerly ways of the IBS. Besides, this is written by a guy, and we all know men and women rarely listen to each other, so guidelines are most likely the best that can be provided. Some you may know, some you may not. Hopefully this guide will be of use!

As with the Happy to Crappy and More Scale of Life this will be a constantly evolving guide. It can be added to and edited at any point if new guidelines seem necessary.

The IBS Guide for Women.

Men Really Do Have Feelings:
It might not be immediately apparent, but yes, guys do have feelings. Sometimes it takes a crowbar and a sledgehammer to get to them, but they're there. Having feelings of course means they can be hurt. As cool as they might come off about it, no guy likes to hear "Let's just be friends." Well, unless, possibly, the words "with a ton of benefits" is the end of that sentence. Also, that guy who's jerked you around before? Odds are he's an asshole because he's afraid of getting his feelings hurt. Think about it. Most assholes are like the bitchy jaded women, but with testosterone.

Careful With Those Questions:
At times this can go both ways, but it tends to be much more for the women. Us guys are fixers, doers, problem solvers, or whatever. If you ask, we're going to try and answer. No promises on the validity of the answer though. Also, before you ask a question, contemplate the worst possible answer you could get. And I don't just mean getting a "Yes" to "Am I fat?" No, no. I mean an answer that might have been good intentioned, but will leave you with a complex. Something like "No, well, maybe your thighs a little." Even when we do think out answers well, sometimes what sounded good mentally doesn't work well vocally.

You ARE Psycho:
You are! Just admit it and move on. It's step number one out of, well, probably a lot. Women are inherently psycho by nature. Now, before you livid ladies flood the IBS inbox with hatemail, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. The key is finding that guy who's personality matches your psychoses. Clean freak? Get a tidy guy. Nympho? Find a guy with Satyriasis. However, under no circumstances should you consider trying to impose those psychoses on a male. It's like mixing Chlorine Bleach with Ammonia, bad things, very bad things.

The Directions Aren't About the Directions:
No, this isn't another "Men don't need directions" comment. Any guy who thinks he can go anywhere at all, and not need directions deserves to be lost. Yes, Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, but he also ended up in the completely wrong place. So then what, he'll go out for a gallon of milk and come back a video from the porn shop? What the directions thing is about is the male ego. It's not that we don't want directions, it's that we don't like to be told we need to stop and get them. We men are proud types. At least it gives us an excuse when we're late!

Don't Be Late:
All those silly women's guides tell you that you should be a little late so that you keep us guys anticipating. Bull, meet Honkey. That might work on a date or two, but it gets old quick. If we're into you, we're into you. If we're not sure, and you're late, then odds are we're debating asking that girl with the red shirt for her phone number. No, not that one, the cuter one to the right, low cut top. Yeah that one.

Teasing = Bad:
We're not talking about playground, calling a kid four eyes type teasing here. Instead, this is about the relationship equivalent of that damned Lucy yanking the ball away from poor Charlie. Give a number to the rejection hotline if you don't want someone calling. If clothes come off, friends or not, we'll think sex is immanent. And you non-single women representing like you're single? STOP. Or I will find a way to make you wear BUTTONS!

Gets You. Gets Bored:
So many women are looking for a guy that "understands/gets/knows" them. Problem is that a guy who does that, most likely isn't attracted to you or won't be long. Guys do like some intrigue. As said above we like to figure things out. Too much elusivity is bad, as is too much knowledge. We want inspiration, and that rarely comes from someone we know like the back of our hand. Ask anyone who's in an extremely fulfilling relationship and they'll probably say they're constantly surprised and amazed by their partner. That doesn't come from something you completely understand. Plus, we're male, you're female. We'll never get each other. Deal with it!

Date Us, Not Us and 13 Friends:
Guys tend to deal with issue head on. We make our decisions and go with it. Yeah, sometimes that ends in a stunningly gruesome train wreck, but that happens. What we don't do is make every major relationship decision through our friends. Sure, Sally and Betty Sue, aside from being Nosy McNosertons, might seem to have good advice, but what's good for them may not be for you. Talk to US, not every friend in your phone and THEN us. And never EVER talk to another guy about issues with us. Guys are competitive possessive bastards. It's rare to find a guy who will give you truly unbiased advice about another guy even if they are a good friend. In actuality, many guys are pros are covert subterfuge. Even when you're not seeking advice, if we come up in the convo, they'll find a way to cast doubt. We're from Mars, named after the Roman god of war. HELLOOOOOOO???

Anyway, there's a good beginning to the guide. I hope this can be useful to some of you out there and I'm sure this will be added to over time. Now go forth and be better slackers!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 9:05 AM, ,

You! Out of the Gene Pool!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Am I a horrible person for thinking it might not be a bad thing if kids doing this were removed from the gene pool?

The Choking Game

I'm torn on that one.

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:59 PM, ,

The Long Boring Weekend.

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend!!

The long weekend was nice, but I just wish my plans would have worked out!

It was one of those weekends were things just didn't work out. Though I'm glad I'm not D, driving home on ice last night, or any people between here and Colorado. Snow is fun and all, but three feet of it is just absurd. There will be some kick ass snow forts in a couple days though!

I do believe, at least for the time being, Thanksgiving is tops on my list for annoying holidays. Seeing the family is nice, but at some point in the last couple months I've developed a deep hatred of the sounds of eating. It never bothered me before, but now, hearing someone chew: Drives. Me. Nuts. Looney I tell ya. I think it might be that The Voice (The SNL Pat-ish, irritating woman who works behind me) has a habit of eating chips with her mouth open. Every. Day. The points when the conversation lulled and people just ate? LOONEY! At least the food was good.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was ok. Same old thing every year. Have dinner at the Aunt and uncle's place with the parental units and grandma, watch some football and play some Uno. I won two games of about 12. The first win was a marathon game, 5 of the 6 people called uno a total of 13 times and it took about 45-50 minutes. The second win was the last game we played.

Got a hold of The Best Friend, but he couldn't partake in our usual Thanksgiving ritual of hitting the bars on State Street in Madison because he had is daughter. We were supposed to hang out Friday, but he never called and I still have yet to hear from him. It doesn't help that his cell phone is temporarily disconnected.

Instead on Friday, I ended up on the phone with The Cute Paramedic (History here, here, here) for a little over an hour. She had no real explanation as to why she basically disappeared other than: "I do that sometimes." She had gotten back together with her ex, but really doesn't like him. Right now she's admittedly only keeping him around because he'll give her rides since she pulled a stupid and got a DUI. Doesn't explain why she got back together with he before that though. She called Saturday night for a bit as well and says she will tonight. I hadn't heard from her in months and now it'll be 3 times in four days. Definitely nice to have her come back around, another friend to hang out with, but I'm definitely not putting much faith in her sticking around after the first disappearance.

Saturday was the possible date night with the new girl. I'll call her Gun Show Girl, or Guns for short, because of her costume on the Halloween Bus Party. It was a cowboy hat, boots jeans, caps guns and a fake bullet belt, and then a t-shirt that said "Get your tickets to the Gun Show" and had two arrows pointing to her, well, guns. Here's her and I (Not the best). No one actually got a picutre of the shirt unfortunately. I headed back up to the Cities but found out via text message that she was roped into staying for her nephews' birthday parties and wouldn't make it back till Sunday. Doh! We now have tentative plans to hang out sometime this week.

Sunday was football, DVRed Lost, Need for Speed Underground 2 and laundry. Well, I thought about doing laundry anyway.

Oh well, at least it was a nice relaxing weekend! It certainly was nice to have four days away from being at work. I know I really don't feel like working today! On this week will be a good one, I can feel it ;O)

Later all!

Upcoming posts: Slacker's Rules for Women, Wednesday Wist, Part one of Chief Slacker's Dating Odyssey, and the new Slacker's Spotlight.

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:14 PM, ,

Happy Turkey Day!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Incredible Turtlurkey

Happy Thanksgiving from all here at the International Bureau of Slacking!

I probably won't post much this long weekend with the holiday and all, but I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! Check out the Wednesday Wist below and when I come back next week you can expect Slacker's Rules for Women, A new Wednesday Wist, the premiere of "Slacker's Spotlight" featuring a different blogger each week and possibly part one of the epic "Chief Slacker's Dating Odyssey."

See you all next week unless I feel like popping on this weekend!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 2:17 PM, ,

Mr. Wister!

Quick laptop update: After Day 3, 209 bad clusters, 23% complete.

So yeah, it would be Wednesday, hump day. That, as usual means it's time again to partake in Amy's crazy concoction: The Wednesday Wist.

In case you're not familiar:

How do you participate in Wednesday Wist? You take whatever music player you use, put it on shuffle, grab the first 5 songs and write what that song makes you remember. If it's a new song...and you can't relate it to a memory....do you like it? Leave a comment if you do it on your site and if you don't have a site, comment your wist here! Oh...and feel free to comment about my songs as well!!!

And with that, we begin:

Dido - Thank You:

"And I, want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my life. And oh, just to be with you, has given me the best day of my life."

This song always reminds me of standing at the top of a parking ramp watching the day begin with Girl I Though I Would Marry. We had stayed up the whole night talking and were going to go to sleep when we realized the sun would be coming up in a half hour. We went to the highest point we could get to and watched through the haze and is got light out. Couldn't see much of the sun, but we didn't care, it was the moment that mattered. That was the day we stopped being friends and started being a couple.

Cold - End of the World:

"Now I'm all alone, Kept the pain inside, Wanna torch the world, Cause I'm breathin fire."

Push the pain down long enough it's going to force it's way out eventually. Eventually that day will come where it feels like evethings coming down, it's the end of the world. I've been like that before, but now I'd much rather deal with it, and move on. Dwelling doesn't do anyone any good.

P.O.D. - Boom:

"Boom! Here comes the Boom! Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South. Boom! Here comes the Boom! Ready or not, How you like me now?"

"Is that all you got? I'll take your best shot."

This one doesn't really make me think of anything. It's just a fun energetic song. You can't help but get pumped up. Boom baby ;O)

Collective Soul - Forgiveness:

"It used to be all I'd want to learn, was wisdom trust and truth. But now all I really want to learn, is forgiveness for you."

It's the theme song for the broken hearted who still want something with the one who did the breaking. Sometimes you get back together, sometimes you stay friends. But for either to happen you have to be able to forgive or it's never going to work out. And I think I speak for most when I say that learning to forgive is not an easy thing. Some of my Exes like Cross Country Girl and Gitiwm (mentioned above) I have or would forgive. Other like SaraJean, nah, not going to happen.

Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark:

"I will dedicate, And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth of how my story's ending. And I wish I could know if the directions that I take and all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing."

"Show me what it's for, make me understand it. I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer. Is there something more than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer."

Despite the fact the band's name always makes me giggle, if any song could describe a little of how I've felt lately this is it. It'd be great to know how things are going to turn out, but that's probably not going to happen. Kinda sucks having the freedom to do what you want, but having no idea what you want to do.

Well there ya go, another weekly wisting has come to pass. Yet another odd mix of music it was as well. I just found out my computer has iTunes. This could be a bad thing. heh.

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:04 PM, ,

At the End, But I'm Not Dead. Really!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ok, so I missed a day or two when I planned on posting. And contrary to rumors I have not, in fact, been eaten by an Abominable Snowman. One tried, but being the warm bodied person that I am his arms melted off before he took a bit. It was sad really. But only for a little bit.

Anyway, I quite possibly may have killed my laptop this weekend. I had it with me at Buffalo Wild Wings so we could watch our fantasy football scores in real time as we watched all ten games. So here's where ya think I spilled my Whiskey Diet on it eh? No no, much more ironic than that. It made it home, but then it would not connect to the internet. After a while I got mad at it, but instead of beating the crap out of the computer, I decided to make some food and come back to it later. I set it on the shelf under my coffee table, got up an preceded to trip over the power cord, yank it off the shelf and down a foot to the floor. Suffice to say the hard disk surface scan that's been running for two days and is only 18% done shows more bad spots than an old cat lady's rugs. Luckily it's not as stinky though.

Lately I've been trying to get back from the "Eh" state of mind to Humpy and hopefully back to the happy side of Humpy Hill. This weekend didn't help much, but didn't really hurt either.



Oh well. I think part of my problem lately can be summed up in a quote said Michael Parks and also Bill Murray in different movies: "I'm at the end of Me." I've kind of grown out of everything I used to be, but haven't really grown into anything else. Right now my life doesn't seem to have a grand scheme or even a mild scheme for that matter. Lately it's just more a string of short events. Something to distract me (Which is not very hard to do) for a little while as life rolls on.

Then again, who knows, I guess that's all life really is eh? A series of moments? Just gotta enjoy what we can from those moments and move on! Seems like everything goes by so fast though. Life's a car and I'm a dog just trying to hang on for the ride. Hopefully it'll be a good trip! ;O)

Slackage to come: Wednesday Wist, Slacker's Rules for Women, Chief Slacker's Dating History (This one will be epic people, don't expect it for a good week)

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:25 PM, ,

Happy to Crappy and More!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Everyone goes about life and feels differently every day. Some days you're up, some days your down, other days you're somewhere in the middle. Well we (ok, ok, I) here at the International Bureau of Slacking have decided to post an emotional scale to aid you fellow slackers in determining how you feel for any given day. This scale is just a guideline of course and there are many shades of grey between each of these grades. Also, this scale is not set in stone and can be added to and edited over time.

The Happy to Crappy and More Scale of Life:
(In order of descending happiness)

Cloud Freakin' 9:
This isn't just Cloud 9. This is the top of that big hill in the happiest area of Cloud 9. This is that feeling you get when you don't think you can possibly be any better. And this isn't like "That meal was awesome. It can't get any better than that." No, No. This is for one of those life changing events like getting married to the person of your dreams, having a kiddo, watching that kiddo get married to an amazing person. Some totally freakin' huge and totally freakin' wonderful. Yes, the freakin' is important.

Clouds 1-9(standard):
To spare you too much babble, I'm condensing these into one even though they are different grades. Cloud 9 would be something big and something amazing, but maybe not that pinnacle of life changing goodness. On the lower end, Cloud 1 would be something that does give you that hint of being out of body. Something that gets you high on life (I said LIFE crackheads. Life.) This could be a phenomenal meal, or maybe a great night out with the friends. So good it feels surreal and not the Mini-Me, Greg Brady and Chyna in one house kinda surreal.

Absatively Posilutely Fantabulous:
Mind numbingly good is the best way to describe this state of emotional bliss. You can't find the words to describe how good ya feel and even if ya could, they'd come out back asswards. In your head you're thinking "God, that was amazing." But when you speak it sounds like "Habble hobna, haba-ha." Yes, that good.

Freakin' Great!:
Your mind's racing, your heart's pumping, you just had an AWESOME time. It might not have been amazing, but it was goooood. You're so happy you feel like you could pop. Just be careful where you're pointing, would ya?

Pretty Darn Good:
Everything's coming up roses. You're breezin through life and nothings bringing ya down. You just got a raise, got a good grade, your kid got a good grade, just just finished off a chocolate cake, you got laid, whatever makes ya happy. You're just lovin life.

Hunky Dory:
Things are well, and you're feeling good. Might not be for any special reason, but you're feeling good. You have a positive outlook on life and you're just doin' your own thing. Just floating along in that happy medium. You know, like floating in a pool of beer, or maybe Jell-o shot.

No, not humping you pervs. Humpy. I feel that in the general state of things, being happy and being crappy are valleys on each side of a hump. Once you're on either side, it's fairly easy to stay there, but getting to the other side takes some effort. You might drag yourself up from Crapville but need that extra bump to roll back down into Happyland. Or maybe something pushed ya out of Happytown, but maybe not over the edge into the Land of Poo. You're just stuck in the middle not happy, not really sad and, well, humpy.

You've heard it before. You ask someone how they feel and you get: "Eh." That's pretty much just saying you're not feeling so hot, but you don't wanna be throwing a pity party. There's something holding ya on the stinky side of the hill, but it's really not that big of a deal. You're either heading for the dumps or hopefully just about out.

Dumpster Diving:
Something's wieghing ya down and it's not something small. Maybe you're feeling pretty sick, maybe you screwed up with a friend or a friend screwed up, or maybe you forgot an annivesary or had one forgotten. It's going to take a little bit of work to fix things up and get back on the road over the hill.

Pretty Crappy:
This is when something big happens and it's a bad big. We're talking sleep on the couch big or sent to the hospital. Either you screwed up bad, someone hurt ya, or your incredibly sick. Maybe you were drunk and went off on a friend or the spouse, shouted the wrong name at an, umm, inopportune moment, got sued, got fired, got dumped, got milk (ok, maybe not) or anything else that would rain out the parade.

When it crossed into irreconcilably bad territory, that's Shit-Tay. Whatever happened was so bad that it's relationship ending. It causes a breakup or divorce. Not only are you fired, you're scared of a lawsuit and not a piddly Wopner class lawsuit either. You have some serious climbing to do to get back to the hump, much less Happyland.

Complete Sewage:
Not only were you dropped of at the pool, you're sinking fast. To feel this way, not only did something terrible ruin your day, it pissed in the ashes afterward. Your heart, your ego, your balls, your something got ripped out and trampled. Not only did they cheat on you with your best friend, when you hit play to show your kid a video, you see a whole different kind of Wiggles.

Feel. Like. Death.:
OK, imagine the worst possible thing you think could possibly happen to you. Imagine it happens and then something unimaginably worse happens right after that. Words can't even describe it, it's, they, nope. They just cant.

So there you have it, any given day, you're probably feeling one of these. If not, lemme know how you are feeling and maybe it should be added here. Hope you're all on the good side of The Hump!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:12 PM, ,

Hello Winter, Nice to see you again.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

It's that time of year again. The time that makes those of us in the north relearn how much we appreciate nice weather. Why is that you ask? Well it's a bit chilly and a bit white.

Stop on over to the Visual Edition for a few pictures! Also mosey down the page for Wistward Ho! below.

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:16 PM, ,

Wistward Ho!

So it's Wednesday, and I just need to get right back in the swing of things so it's time for a Wednesday wist!

So how do you participate in Wednesday Wist? You take whatever music player you use, put it on shuffle, grab the first 5 songs and write what that song makes you remember. If it's a new song...and you can't relate it to a memory....do you like it? Leave a comment if you do it on your site and if you don't have a site, comment your wist here! Oh...and feel free to comment about my songs as well!!!

1. Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire:

"We didn't start the fire. It's was always burnin' since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it but, but we're trying to fight it."

Ok, who hasn't tried to sing all the words to this song? Yes, tried being the operative word there. I remember this being such a popular song way back in the day the local paper actually printed the words to it. My cousin and I had sat down and listen to a tape of the song over and over to try and write them all down ourselves previously and got pretty close ;O) Gotta love it through, the recent history of the world all wrapped up into a fun little dity.

2. 2 Pac - Changes:

"I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself: 'Is life worth livin' or should I blast myself?'"

"I'd rather do back to the way we played as kids, but things have changed, that's the way it is..."

Yes Virigina, even Gangsta Rappers have consciences. There's a lot of things wrong in the world and no one's going to change them unless we work together right? And who doesn't wish we could all live like most of us did as kids? Just go out and play, have a good time. Oh yeah, there's that whole responsibility thing. Damn! He he, 2 pac was song 2. hehehe. Yup. I'm lame.

3. Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory:

"You ask me if I've known love, and if I know what it's like to sing songs in the rain. Well I've seen love come, I've seen it shot down, I've seen it die in vein. Shot, Down in a blaze of glory, take me now, but know the truth. Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory. Lord, I never drew first but I drew first blood I'm the Devil's son. Call me Young Gun."

Oh man did my parents regret buying me this CD along with my first personal CD player. I listen to this CD and sang along to this song so much they threatened to take it away. heh. I found out years later mom actually thought the singing was good, but even the most loving parents get sick of hearing the same song over and over ;O)

4. The Corrs - Breathless:

"Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless. Tempt me, Tease me, until I can't deny this loving feeling. Make me long for your kiss. Go on, go on.

Well screw you NOMAD , like I wanted a happy go lucky lovey dovey song right now. Play this one again when I have someone worth playing it about! Catchy tune normally though.

5. Dave Matthews Band - Don't Drink the Water (Live at Red Rock):

"I live with my justice, And I live with my greedy need. I live with no mercy, And I live with my frenzied feeding. I live with my hatred, And I live with my jealousy. I live with the notion that I don't need anyone but me

Don't Drink the Water, Don't Drink the Water, Blood in the water, Don't Drink the Water"

Pretty much any Dave Matthews reminds me of a friend of mine from Michigan I unfortunately haven't heard from in years. She was a Michigan Statey I met when I use to hang out a college community website. We saw DMB live here in the cities, but unfortunately Dave was sick and it wasn't the best of shows. Good music though. Miss chatting with that girl. If any of you Michiganders know a 4'10" Spartan named Holly let her know I still have her rings to send back! Love the song, haunting melody. You more feel this song than listen to it.

So there you have it another Wednesday Wist is passed into the archives. Yet another odd collection of song from the Chief. I do still need to do some updating of the music. What are some of you people's favorite songs lately? Gimme something good to listen to!

Upcoming posts: Slacker's Life States (The scale of happy to crappy and more), Slacker's Rules for Women, Slacker's Dating History (This one will be epic people, don't expect it for a good week)

posted by Chief Slacker @ 9:18 AM, ,

A Kick... in the Teeth.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Yeah, so last week I was kinda stuck in the middle between being down in the dumps and being happy. I had hoped I would find something to bump me back on the happy side of the fence since just trying to make myself get there didn't seem to work.

For the last month one major bright spot in my life had been Hot Friend. We talked and/or emailed almost daily, hung out and had a great time and things had been going amazingly well. We had talked of doing something Sunday so I called her up.

What I had hoped would be a bump back to being pretty happy, instead turned out to be an ass kicking right past the dumps and well into the land of crapiness. Not only had she made other plans with her neighbors, apparently she decided that she didn't want to be dating two people at the same time and the one she did want to date wasn't me. Well that's sure a shitty way to find out for sure she was dating someone else.

There was some confusion on that whole dating two people thing as to why she would go out on a date with someone else while she was dating me. Well, it turns out that even though we had a conversation discussing that matter and it seemed we both agreed we were dating, that didn't mean we actually were dating.

I probably should have seen the writing on the wall when after a dinner "date" with her indie film director "friend" her attitude seemed to completely shift toward me. Also, it was after a conversation in that dinner that she decided to voice the fact she wasn't comfortable with my posting of the picture of her and I on here a week earlier without asking. She had been sick that week as well and made a comment that she was glad her phone worked so that she could talk to friends, but I hadn't really heard from her at all.

Apparently The Director put those powers of persuasion to use and told her what she wanted to hear to get what he wanted. She's moving from my far off Broadway work in progress to his starring role. The Guy who wrote The Game was on the radio today and said that women aren't necessarily attracted to money or looks, but Status. Apparently I have to win some awards to be cool enough or something.

I still have no idea how it went from having an "amazing time" and "changed her life" to nothing, and who knows if I ever will. It's too bad she didn't really know how much of her I appreciated far beyond the fact she was beautiful. It's also sad because her character led me to believe she'd be much different than many of the other people I dated and she turned out to be just another of the same.

I'm getting pretty sick of this trend lately, to date me for a little bit, seem to hit it off amazingly well, then ditch me. I know the right girl for me is out there, but apparently until I find her, if ever, I get to be tormented by Psychos and Teases.

Oh well. At least, and this is a RARE occasion I'll ever say this, I've been WAY busy at work lately. I've had engineers hanging out in my "Executive Office" for about 75% of yesterday and today. It's helped keep my mind off of this and probably kept be from feeling like total shit and just feeling mildly crappy.

Anyway, time to go home and get ready for my Condo Association Meeting.

Upcoming Posts: Wednesday Wist (On weds this time), Slacker's Life States (The scale of happy to crappy and more), Slacker's Dating History (This one will be epic people, don't expect it for a good week)

posted by Chief Slacker @ 1:07 PM, ,

The Idiot Boss Review!

Friday, November 11, 2005

No, this isn't going to be a musical number about the life of my Idiot Boss. Instead this is the review I had to write for Idiot boss at the request of his boss.

As you've probably previously read, I'm not a fan of my boss. The Idiot Boss moniker isn't just because I don't like the guy, it's because he's truly a moron. If you're even an occasional reader of this blog, you've probably heard me bitch about him at least a little. I mean it's not like I mentioned him here, here, here, here and had a whole post devoted to him here.

Since I'm sure you're dying to know what I really think about him, I present for you The Review:


Employee's Key Contributions/Accomplishments:

"Idiot Boss" has aided in the creation of a Work Request System for our department and is heading the creation of a unified drafting and modeling procedure. He also parses the new incoming requests and tries to assign them to the proper drafters.

Employee's Key Strengths (please reference leadership and functional competencies):

His knowledge of "Company X" business is very high, as he constantly seems to be up to date on news in our division and others. He has fairly decent technical writing skills when organizing and writing guidelines and processes. He is also usually a very friendly person. He is very good with numbers and seems to be able to remember any procedure number by heart. He did help to drive some change in our department with the Work Request System and the Combined drafting procedure.

Employee's Areas for Improvement (please reference leadership and functional competencies):

"Idiot Boss" needs to improve on virtually every leadership and functional competency. Although he is constantly taking training classes, he does not seem to be developing as a better supervisor. He seems to lack proper acumen for effectively supervising a group. The level of respect for him among his employees is very low, instead of inspiring them to work to the best of their ability, they look for other jobs. Three people have left the group citing "Idiot Boss" as their only reason for leaving. (two quit, one sought promotions elsewhere) He has made several poor decisions when assigning work that has actually decreased the level of respect for our whole group. "Idiot Boss" seems to have developed a habit if telling people what he thinks they want to hear instead of being honest. At several points he has had miscommunications that, if said to the wrong person, could have led to possible lawsuits (Mostly due to what could easily be construed as discrimination). Along the lines of communication as well, is that he lacks skill in giving presentations, trainings and meetings, to the point they rarely seem like an effective use of time. He also needs to use one on one time more effectively. He often gets side-tracked or makes unrelated or unnecessary phone calls in meetings even when he has been told by employees that they find that rude and disrespectful. The lack of communication also undermines the development of teamwork since projects are often assigned using only the Request System and no verbal communication so peers do not know they could be helping each other on projects they have previously worked on.

Other Comments:

I chose the Unsatisfactory rating after much thought. I had originally selected "Needs Improvement" but decided against that after reading the implications of each of the ratings. He fits much of both, though "Unsatisfactory" was the more accurate. While "Idiot Boss" is a very kind caring person, he is not a good fit at all for a supervisory role. I respect him as a person, but as a supervisor it is very hard to. He has a very hard time recognizing problems with employees and does not work well to get through the issues. He really doesn't seem to be able to effectively show the competence to be an effective leader. He rarely collaborates with employees effectively and the Work Request System is actually lowering the amount that he does talk with them. He also has actually been chastised on several occasions by engineers and other managers for making some poor decisions. After working with him for years and seeing little improvement I could not give a "Needs Improvement" rating. I have not provided many details in this review in order to keep the length down, but would be glad to discuss any of this in person.


So there you have it. I did my best not to be spiteful, yet detail to what lengths he is an complete idiot. I tell ya, I really had to struggle to find things that could be called strengths. The director of our department made a joke the other day. Someone has said to him they were going to make up some bad scenario like Idiot Boss resigning. His response? (I'm still not sure if this was completely in jest or not) "Bad? That would be a good thing!" Problem is, it's so incredibly hard to fire someone for incompetence in this company it's ridiculous. The best employee here could come in with alcohol on their breath and be fired on the spot, fuck up a whole department and it takes six months to can your ass. Stupid.

Oh well, hopefully at some point someone will wake up and listen to what we're saying!

Anyway, so there, now you can all feel a little better about your work situations. If you have an Idiot Boss of your own you're not alone. If you have a good boss count your lucky stars!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 8:37 AM, ,

Thank You Kind, Honest Person!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Thank you to whoever you are out there who turned in my Pocket Memory after my ADD self left it on the shelf in the bathroom! My Tungsten T3 may not be top of the line after two years, but it's still a $300 item. With 3800 employees in this complex, there have to be good seeds as well as bad. Luckily you were a very good one!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 1:31 PM, ,

Funk you, with a Twist.

Ok, so I still haven't managed to make it out of this funk. I'm not even really sure why I'm here. I'm not really down so much as I'm stuck in the middle and definitely haven't crossed that line back into happyland. Maybe it's a busy-ness hangover. After having someone much going and having so much fun, now having nothing going on is kinda that post high come-down. Who knows. I'm sure it'll pass, just gotta get out and have some fun again.

Anyway, in my general mopiness, I seem to have forgotten it was Wednesday yesterday and therefore missed out on doing the Wednesday Wist. So since it's now Thursday, and I still want to do it, I'm just going to call it the Thursday Twist. Yup.

Anyway, on to the twistyness. Tally Ho.

So how do you participate in Wednesday Wist (Or twist)? You take whatever music player you use, put it on shuffle, grab the first 5 songs and write what that song makes you remember. If it's a new song...and you can't relate it to a memory....do you like it? Leave a comment if you do it on your site and if you don't have a site, comment your wist here! Oh...and feel free to comment about my songs as well!!!

1. Babyface & Stevie Wonder - How Come, How Long?

"There was a girl I used to know, she was oh so beautiful. She's not here anymore."

"How come? How Long? It's not right, it's so wrong. Do we let it just go on, turn our backs and carry on? Wake up, before it's to late. Right now, we can't wait. She won't have a second try, open up your hearts and well as you eyes."

Victims of abuse are everywhere. So many people turn a cheek and think it's not their problem, or not their place to say anything. If you know a friend or loved on is in an abusive relationship turning away is just going to get them more hurt. I know a couple friends in abusive relationships, luckily one of them ended it, but is still hanging out with the guy here and there. Friends like this need support.

2. Smash Mouth - All Star:

"Hey now, You're an all star! Get your game on, go play! Hey now you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid."

"Some body once asked, could I 'spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place.' I said "Yep, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself and we could al use a little change."

This is just one of those happy fun songs. I mean who doesn't wanna be called a Rock Star? I think this is what I need now, get my game on and go play. Get out and go something fun! As it says, we can all use a little change eh?

3. House of Pain & Jason Nevins - Jump Around 2000:

I'm thinking this one doesn't really need a quote. The only important lyrics are in the song's name. This one's a faster paced remix though. If this isn't an aerobics class theme song, I don't know what could be. Now get out your seat and jump around dammit!

4. Godsmack - Voodoo:

"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snakebite enter my veins. Never did I want to be here again, and I don't remember why I came."

No real memories or thoughts triggered, just kinda of a cool song. I love the tribal feel with all of the drums and how it's almost hypnotic. I guess the lyrics to make me think about it being someone the day after a night of heavy drinking. heh.

5. Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting:

"Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you."

"I wonder how we can survive, this romance. But in the end if I'm with you, I'll take the chance."

This is like the theme song for anyone separated from the one they love. It used to remind me of The Girl I Thought I Would Marry and I guess it still does, but not in the same way. Now I guess it would make me think of how I would feel if I met that "one" person. There's definitely a contender for that spot in my life right now, but only time will tell if things work out that way. Until then I'll be here!

So there ya go, your wisty wished have been fulfilled. Nothing super great this week, I really need to update my music!

Anyway, check in tomorrow for the Idiot Boss Review!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 9:54 AM, ,

Man Down!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Hey all, hope you had a good weekend. Mine was ok.

Friday, my original plans with Hot Friend got nixed so I ended up chilling out with Big Mike. We decided staying home and playing computer and video games on a Friday night was just sick and wrong, so we walked a whole block to the Fabulous Fern's, a local drinking establishment. Had couple whiskeys and Long Islands, got beat in a couple rounds of darts and then called it a night and headed back to Slacker HQ. Sadly enough I ended up playing Xbox some more. That damn Red Dead Revolver is addicting.

Saturday I got up and had to come into work since I had taken Friday off to deal with some other things. I get to work to find yet another reason to hate Idiot Boss. The group I'm basically dedicated to sent in a last minute request to have something by the crack of dawn Monday. Even though IB knew I was going to be coming in on Saturday, he assigned it to another person who hasn't worked on that project at all. The other guy did a decent job and apparently got it done, but there were a number of errors the guy couldn't have known about since he's never worked on the thing before. So I redid it and sent everything out. Unfortunately it makes our whole department look incompetent and disorganized. I still have to write his review today... heh.

After work I headed to La Crosse, WI to get my drink on with a buddy that used to live up in The Cities. Since he's moving to Florida (Ft. Meyers I believe) to work with his dad selling real estate, we needed to hook up before he left. I got there and we chilled for a little while, then went out and hit a couple bars. The second bars was, well, a little fuzzy in my memory. heh. I remember getting food at Jimmy John's though.

Sunday I got up and headed home. On the way home OCD/Anxiety called, up to her usual annoying shit. Now I've tried to be nice with her, tried to help her work through her issues, but the patience ran out. I'm all for being a nice guy, and for being understanding and trying to help a friend. But if they're not going to try and help themself, my patience hits a wall real quick. That was the last I'll be talking to her.

Called Hot Friend since we had talked about getting together Sunday but she was AWOL. So I did what any guy would do on a Sunday, watch football. There were a bunch of pretty good games on. How about the end of that KC-Oakland game? That's what good football is all about right there. Played some more Red Dead Revolver, watched the "Live Debate" episode of the West Wing and then hit the hay. After having an absolutely wonderful weekend the week before this weekend was kinda off. Oh well, guess it just had to average things out eh?

Anyway, I'm just kinda stuck in a down mood. It's not really any one thing bringing me down, but probably a bunch of them. Having an off weekend, giving up on OCD/A (definitely for the best, but it still sucks to cut ties with someone who used to be a good friend), found out I did something that apparently bothered a friend, completely sick of working for my boss, and probably a good bit of just being tired. Eh, I'm sure it will pass. Maybe I just need a nap.

Later peeps.

posted by Chief Slacker @ 10:11 AM, ,

Time to Get Drunkie!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Hey all! Hope you are having a good weekend!

I'm popping on here at work for a bit before I head off to La Crosse, Wisconsin to most likely get drunk off cheap liquor. I mean, it IS Wisconsin, the land of "professional drinkers" according to certain establishments in Las Vegas.

Anyway, tally ho!

Later people!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:08 PM, ,

New Badges!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

So I've been slacking in getting out badges to all of the new hires for the International Bureau of Slacking. You should all have them now with the exception of Amber and Anisa. I don't have either of your emails so yeah, comment them to me and I'll delete the comment after if you don't want it floating around in cyberspace :O)

Anyway, here are the snazzy badges!

I updated the Deputy Badge to incorporate the Slacker Turtle logo and the brand spanking new Higherup Badge (Sergeant through Chief) format:

So all of you new Bureau hires, get your badges posted and make sure to have it link back to the Daily Slacker!

You know you want to be a deputy too! Stop over often, and keep on slacking!

For the members of the Bureau, Great slacking peoples. Great slacking!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:37 PM, ,

Wist This!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

It's hump day again so it's time for the Wednesday Wist.

I do apparently owe and apology to Amy for claiming she stole this idea from someone else. While writing of playlists is nothing new, the Wist was a new twist on them. So good idea Amy! Everyone else do one too!

So how do you participate in Wednesday Wist? You take whatever music player you use, put it on shuffle, grab the first 5 songs and write what that song makes you remember. If it's a new song...and you can't relate it to a memory....do you like it? Leave a comment if you do it on your site and if you don't have a site, comment your wist here! Oh...and feel free to comment about my songs as well!!!

Indigo girls - Ghost:
This song is fairly fitting for the time since it's the end of the Dia de Los Muertos. Traditionally some people believe that the spirits of the dead arrive on Oct. 31 to visit and get fat and happy on the goodie left for them by friends and relatives, party it up with the living, and then head out on Nov. 2nd. A little Pan De Muertos sounds kinda good right now. Here's to all friends and loved ones who have passed, have a good trip y'all!

Maroon 5 - Woman:
This is a fairly new song, so I don't really have any memories, but it is a good song. There is a certain GoddamnedLuckyGirl the lyrics do make me think of though.

"If I could bottle up the chills that ya give me, I would keep them in a jar next to my bed. And if I should ever draw a picture of a woman, it is you that would come flowing from my pen."

Good song.

Skipped "Run Rabbit Run" since I already wrote about that.

Marilyn Manson - I Don't Like The Drugs:
Yes, my music collection is incredibly strange. Deal with it. I can listen to just about any radio station except the gospel channel and one with really old twangy country. Anyway, "I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me." Like it or not we all have an addiction to something. Be it Drugs, Chocolate, Reading, or some other thing. So what's the one thing that when someone asks you why you just say "I dunno, because I like to?"

Enya - Only Time:
This song is kinda of my ethos on life. "Who can say where the road goes where the day flows, only time. Who can say if you love grows, like your heart chose, only time." Anyone who tries to plan everything to a T months ahead of time usual ends up frustrated when the plan goes south. You can only look so ahead. Live life for now and enjoy yourself! No one know what things will be like in the future, stop trying to figure it out! :O)

Skipped "More Than Words," Apparently it's repeat day. 1000 sings and get repeats. heh.

N*Sync - Space Cowboys:
I mean come on, who can't enjoy lyrics like "Why I I, yipee I ay, yipee I oh, Yipee I ay?" heh. Ok, sorry, no justifying this one. The movie was ok though.

Nelly - #1:
"What does it take to be, Number one, two is not a winner and three nobody remembers." Yeah, I'll admit it I can be a pretty competitive person. If I'm in some kind of contest I'm going to try and win. Well, unless she's cute then she can win here and there. ;O) I play to have fun, but I want to win too. If I don't oh well, move on. You better believe I'm going to try though!

Oops, I just realized I did six. Oh well, you all got a bonus!

Anyway, all of you should go do your wists and lemme know what ya got!

Later all, and make sure to check out why Companies are Like Bad Boyfriends!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:04 PM, ,

Companies Are Like Bad Boyfriends.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

...Or Girlfriends.

Yesterday was Caramel Apple Day here at my place of slacking. It got me thinking about how similar working for this company (which I gather is fairly similar to many other large companies in this corporate world) is to so many bad personal relationships people have. Let's break a few down shall we?

The Taken for Granted -

Everyone's had one of these. One or the other thinks everything's going along fine. I'm happy, you're happy, we're all living in happyland. The other side of that relationship is just a time bomb till that inevitable day of famous last words: "We'll I just assumed..." *BAM* Ass. You. Me. Emotional Explosion. Fight Ensues. When's the last time you felt appreciated at work? Most companies use the argument of "fiscal responsibility" or some mumbo jumbo like that to pay and appreciate you as little as possible, yet keep you around simply so they don't have to train someone else in. You do a kick ass job on some major project, get a pat on the back, then next time the want you to do better. Reminds me of a comic I saw. The caption read: "You're Right!! That one IS perfect. Just try a little harder next time!" The more they say, "Yeah, we're a good company, our employee's love it here. They'll never leave," the more they start to believe it.

The Cock Blocker -

This is more a friends thing than a significant other, but the bastards deserve to be called out. These mojo killing punks always strike when you least expect it. You're at some club working on this total hottie. You're so in the flirting groove that The Pope would hit the sack with ya. Just then your Ex walks up "Hey, I didn't know you come here." The Hottie hits the breaks like you had Paris Hilton's STD test results. Murder should be legal in some cases. This is damn near the same as that little weasel at work. You know, the prick you got your promotion derailed because he "accidentally" mentioned to the boss that you cam in late twice last week? Yeah and there's "accidentally" going to be a flaming bag of dog poo on your chair tomorrow.

The One Nighter-

People always try and claim they are, but they're rarely mutual. Meet the hottie, go home and have a great time. Start fantasizing about the dream wedding and kids err, I mean, Umm, the next date! The never hear from said hottie again. You wake up next to that empty pillow feeling more used than Tammy Faye's make-up spatula. Such is the life of a poor temp and/or contract employee. "Thanks for doing the job better than the person we're paying twice as much to call in sick. We have a lovely pink parting gift for you." Yes, these poor saps are the two dollar whores of the economy. Constantly screwed till the job is done, then dropped at the nearest curb.

The Tease (aka The Liar)-

Do I need to explain? Shut it. I'm gonna anyway. So you out with your date. It starts getting hot and heavy. Eventually something overtly sexual occurs, like, say, rubbing of the crotchle region. You head home, you SO know you're gonna score. "Oh, no, I'm waiting for that, I'm just really flirty." Balls. Go. Blue. Or whatever happens to the female types in the same situation. And it doesn't even have to be sexual. "Oh yeah I totally love Team X." You go buy tickets, get all excited for the game then get: "Well I don't really like the sport. The Team's ok though." Yeah, I'd wanna shove the tickets there too. So how about the company? You get hired and they're like: "Yeah, you get two weeks of vacation!" You go to schedule your nice Sunny, Beachy Vacation, submit the request and get told "Oh, well five days of the vacation time is really your paid holidays." Say WHAT!? Or almost as bad: "Prescheduled plant/company shutdown." Or how about: "Seeking person with X degree, great advancement opportunities." Then you find out too late, by saying advancement, they meant moving cubicles each year. . o O ("If, if, if I have to move one more time, I'm, I'm gonna burn this place down. I mean it.")

The Dr. Presents and Mr.Hyde -

Despite what Hallmark, FTD, Hersheys and apparently Hardee's want you to believe, gifts rarely fix any issues. Sure, it maybe he hard to yell at you for doing something stupid with a mouthful of chocolate, but the supply is bound to run out at some point. While being a couple days late for your anniversary might be forgiven over Godiva, Roses and a diamond tennis braclet, "I'm sorry honey! I didn't mean to sleep with her! It was an accident! I thought it was you not your sister!" well, wow. You're screwed buddy. I'd start wearing a Kevlar cod piece if I were you. Gifts might placate the anger, but they're certainly not going to fix the underlying fact that you're an idiot. This goes for companies too. Poor management and bad relations can be masked by giving out presents, but the problems remain. "Hey, great work on that project that's going to make us millions! Sorry we can't give you a bonus, but here's a candy bar and a $10 gift card to wal-mart." Or: "What do you mean we pay you less than industry average? Here have a caramel apple. Move along." We might be happy for a day or two, but you're foolin' yourself if you don't think we're scouring Monster.com! Well, when we're not setting our Fantasy Football lineups and ending each other porn anyway.

The Berater -

These are the people that think the squeaky wheel really just needs to be told what it's doing wrong. When it comes to compliments these people either believe in mental telepathy, or believe compliments are like fine china, keep them locked up and only bring them out when you have someone's ass to kiss. Instead of "Good god you're hot!" you get "You're going to wear THAT belt?" Forget the fact you left a love note in the lunch box, made dinner and did laundry, since you forgot to wash that ONE pair of socks: HELL! TO! PAY! Take those socks and shove em up... oh! Hi! Sorry back to the rant... Like you haven't had a boss like Idiot Boss do the same thing! You maybe have kicked ass at the last 6 projects, but you make one mistake and he sends out an email to the group. Never mind the fact you haven't missed a day of work in a year, but since you were too busy having lengthy chats with your porcelain pal to call in by 7am, you get written up. Don't think I won't come puke on your desk next time! Compliments shouldn't be THAT hard people, but don't be a Liar.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I'd rather let all of you? You have any other job relationships that parallel some dating horror story? Speak up!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:22 PM, ,