Happy to Crappy and More!
Friday, November 18, 2005Everyone goes about life and feels differently every day. Some days you're up, some days your down, other days you're somewhere in the middle. Well we (ok, ok, I) here at the International Bureau of Slacking have decided to post an emotional scale to aid you fellow slackers in determining how you feel for any given day. This scale is just a guideline of course and there are many shades of grey between each of these grades. Also, this scale is not set in stone and can be added to and edited over time.
The Happy to Crappy and More Scale of Life:
(In order of descending happiness)
Cloud Freakin' 9:
This isn't just Cloud 9. This is the top of that big hill in the happiest area of Cloud 9. This is that feeling you get when you don't think you can possibly be any better. And this isn't like "That meal was awesome. It can't get any better than that." No, No. This is for one of those life changing events like getting married to the person of your dreams, having a kiddo, watching that kiddo get married to an amazing person. Some totally freakin' huge and totally freakin' wonderful. Yes, the freakin' is important.
Clouds 1-9(standard):
To spare you too much babble, I'm condensing these into one even though they are different grades. Cloud 9 would be something big and something amazing, but maybe not that pinnacle of life changing goodness. On the lower end, Cloud 1 would be something that does give you that hint of being out of body. Something that gets you high on life (I said LIFE crackheads. Life.) This could be a phenomenal meal, or maybe a great night out with the friends. So good it feels surreal and not the Mini-Me, Greg Brady and Chyna in one house kinda surreal.
Absatively Posilutely Fantabulous:
Mind numbingly good is the best way to describe this state of emotional bliss. You can't find the words to describe how good ya feel and even if ya could, they'd come out back asswards. In your head you're thinking "God, that was amazing." But when you speak it sounds like "Habble hobna, haba-ha." Yes, that good.
Freakin' Great!:
Your mind's racing, your heart's pumping, you just had an AWESOME time. It might not have been amazing, but it was goooood. You're so happy you feel like you could pop. Just be careful where you're pointing, would ya?
Pretty Darn Good:
Everything's coming up roses. You're breezin through life and nothings bringing ya down. You just got a raise, got a good grade, your kid got a good grade, just just finished off a chocolate cake, you got laid, whatever makes ya happy. You're just lovin life.
Hunky Dory:
Things are well, and you're feeling good. Might not be for any special reason, but you're feeling good. You have a positive outlook on life and you're just doin' your own thing. Just floating along in that happy medium. You know, like floating in a pool of beer, or maybe Jell-o shot.
Humpy:
No, not humping you pervs. Humpy. I feel that in the general state of things, being happy and being crappy are valleys on each side of a hump. Once you're on either side, it's fairly easy to stay there, but getting to the other side takes some effort. You might drag yourself up from Crapville but need that extra bump to roll back down into Happyland. Or maybe something pushed ya out of Happytown, but maybe not over the edge into the Land of Poo. You're just stuck in the middle not happy, not really sad and, well, humpy.
"Eh."
You've heard it before. You ask someone how they feel and you get: "Eh." That's pretty much just saying you're not feeling so hot, but you don't wanna be throwing a pity party. There's something holding ya on the stinky side of the hill, but it's really not that big of a deal. You're either heading for the dumps or hopefully just about out.
Dumpster Diving:
Something's wieghing ya down and it's not something small. Maybe you're feeling pretty sick, maybe you screwed up with a friend or a friend screwed up, or maybe you forgot an annivesary or had one forgotten. It's going to take a little bit of work to fix things up and get back on the road over the hill.
Pretty Crappy:
This is when something big happens and it's a bad big. We're talking sleep on the couch big or sent to the hospital. Either you screwed up bad, someone hurt ya, or your incredibly sick. Maybe you were drunk and went off on a friend or the spouse, shouted the wrong name at an, umm, inopportune moment, got sued, got fired, got dumped, got milk (ok, maybe not) or anything else that would rain out the parade.
Shit-tay:
When it crossed into irreconcilably bad territory, that's Shit-Tay. Whatever happened was so bad that it's relationship ending. It causes a breakup or divorce. Not only are you fired, you're scared of a lawsuit and not a piddly Wopner class lawsuit either. You have some serious climbing to do to get back to the hump, much less Happyland.
Complete Sewage:
Not only were you dropped of at the pool, you're sinking fast. To feel this way, not only did something terrible ruin your day, it pissed in the ashes afterward. Your heart, your ego, your balls, your something got ripped out and trampled. Not only did they cheat on you with your best friend, when you hit play to show your kid a video, you see a whole different kind of Wiggles.
Feel. Like. Death.:
OK, imagine the worst possible thing you think could possibly happen to you. Imagine it happens and then something unimaginably worse happens right after that. Words can't even describe it, it's, they, nope. They just cant.
So there you have it, any given day, you're probably feeling one of these. If not, lemme know how you are feeling and maybe it should be added here. Hope you're all on the good side of The Hump!
posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:12 PM,
12 Comments:
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At Fri Nov 18, 05:24:00 PM,
Marie said...
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Hey you. :) These are very clever and I love the effort that you put into the descriptions. I think that these days I'm a bit humpy. Although humping doesn't sound bad right now. hehe ;)
Have a great weekend! -
At Sat Nov 19, 02:05:00 AM,
Kira said...
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I'm at dumpster diving. That's why I'm posting at 3a...I'm pretty sick. I can't sleep, meds don't seem to help, and every part of me aches/sneezes/coughs. I'm trying to stay in the bedroom and not wake up kids/Alex, and so far I'm succeeding, but I'd love it if somebody clunked a hammer on my head so I could pass out and wake up feeling better.
This is the worst illness I've had in a while. I'm unable to get comfortable at ALL, no matter what I take. Sigh. Oh well, at least I can get up and go to the refrigerator for a drink or to the bathroom without passing out. Could be worse. -
At Sat Nov 19, 08:44:00 AM,
OzzyC said...
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Wow! There are a lot more levels of happiness/sadness than I thought. I only thought there were a half dozen levels or so!
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At Sat Nov 19, 09:54:00 AM,
Amber said...
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I also love these -- I think I might have to refer back every once in a while to gauge my mood. Love it.
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At Sat Nov 19, 08:52:00 PM,
said...
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Emotionally I feel 'pretty darn good.'
Physically, I've got an 'eh' working for me -- I was up too late playing poker with buddies, eating bad food and had one too many beers. I was sort of dehydrated, spider-webby, and tired today. -
At Sun Nov 20, 07:16:00 PM,
Leesa said...
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Cool list, I think you covered all of it :)
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At Sun Nov 20, 11:25:00 PM,
Jezzy said...
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Oh, I'm pretty crappy right now. I hate being pretty crappy! But I was crappy enough to blog about it. x
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At Mon Nov 21, 10:01:00 AM,
Just Me said...
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and then of course there's the combination of one or more of these states of mind which apply to different areas of your life at the same time..look what you've created! the possiblities are endless!! ;-)~
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At Mon Nov 21, 09:03:00 PM,
jlybn123 said...
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Where are you on the scale right now???? You left that part out!
I guess I would consider myself to be freakin' great right now.
I have a question for you...how do you think up all this stuff??? You truly deserve to be the Chief! LOL -
At Tue Nov 22, 08:58:00 AM,
Anisa said...
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this is great! not sure where i am today...i think "eh" would sum me up for today...not feeling well...
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At Tue Nov 22, 10:13:00 AM,
Tyjen said...
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haha, this is great. i'm also feeling a bit humpy. well, it's almost wednesday!
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At Tue Nov 22, 03:24:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Pieces - Tsk Tsk, comment like you read it ;O) Glad things are going well though!
Pieces - Now if only you were the first to actually read it ;O)
Marie - No, humping usually nver sounds bad ;O) Well with someone fun anyway. It's tough to get off the hump. Hopefully ya find soemthing to bump ya inot happyland.
Kira - Being sick sucks. But I'm sure alex has been bringing you soup in bed and all that love dovey stuff ;O) Hope you're feeling better!
OzzyC - Yeah I was thinking 6 or so would be good, but as it developed more came out ;O)
Amber - That's what it's here for! I should set up something like those unkymoods. Heh.
Delmer - The mental part is the important one, You can take a nap and get rid of the physical "eh." Getting rid of a mental one is a lot harder.
Leesa - Thanks! I tried!
Jezzy - Well, now taht you've found your level, it's time to improve it eh?
Miss 'Tude - That's the beauty of it: it's totally felixble ;O)
JlyBn - I'm still stuck at "eh" I think. Had some good things this weekend, some bummers. they jsut come to me ;O)
Anisa - Well I certainly hope you're feelign better soon!
Sub Girl - yeah, humpy on hump day, sounds about right ;O)