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The Daily SlackerThe Daily Slacker

Racing the Storm

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

So yeah yesterday I'm at work and I read in the news that we'll have a storm rolling into the area. Yeah, still didn't have a window in poor little Ally the Altima.

I did have plastic wrap to put over the window opening, but with the heat wave and not being able to see well I didn't want to tape it in place. So, the plastic only worked if the car was not in motion, otherwise it blew out and flapped in the wind.

It gets to be about 4:30 and I check radar. Yeah, Hi, Storm! So I decide leaving an hour early would be in my best interest. I head out and see some ugly ass black clouds in the distance and decide I need to haul ass. I hopped in the car and realized one problem: The gas gauge was past empty. I stop and put in ten bucks quick (and at $3.09/gal that doesn't buy much) and then resume hauling ass.

I get just about half way home and this is the view out of the front of my car:

I stopped under an overpass and tried to get the plastic in place, but it would only stay for a couple miles so eventually I just gave up. Poor Ally is still drying out and there's another storm rolling though tonight. Luckily though, I can finally use my credit card again and got a new window put in this after noon. Now I just need to get the bra put back on the front so ally can be a proper little lady again!

Ok, time to go see if I can outrun today's storm! At least this time I don't have to worry about getting wet!

Keep slacking peoples :O)

posted by Chief Slacker @ 5:22 PM, ,

Dear Acrobatic Motorists...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

While flying through the air with the greatest of ease may sound like a good idea, while driving a car, it's not.

In the last two days it appears a few of you stunt driver wannabes have taken "flipping someone off" to new extremes. Whether your vehicular barrel rolls are intentional or not, rush hour traffic is not the place for them.

Two days in a row now you kamikaze commuters have hosed up my morning drive something fierce. This open letter is a plea to please take your highway hijinks to roads other than the ones I use.

Yes, having your car on the side of the road roof down, wheels up does garner a very large audience, but spectators are NOT what I want in front of me whilst trying to get to work. A ninety minute rubbernecker filled commute is definitely not a good start to a day.

So please, please dear maniac motorists, keep the wheels on the ground or I know it's only matter of time before one of your car cartwheels lands on my poor cursed Ally Altima.

Thank You,

Chief Slacker

posted by Chief Slacker @ 2:14 PM, ,

Yay for Parties!

Monday, July 17, 2006

So, the End of season party for the Spring Season of kickball came and went this past weekend. It was definitely a good time with lots of drinking and a good amount of flip cup!

Our benchmark for the night was competing with the $900 bar tab we had for the mid-season party. The beverages consumed that night were documented a couple posts back. For this party we got $1 drinks from 7-8 (For this posts drinks means, rail drinks, call drinks like Captain Cokes and Domestic beers), $2 Drinks from 8-11 and then expensive stuff after. By 10:50, our tab, not including tip was $73. Now that's good timing, using up our $900 (once a good tip is included since we had three bartenders and a whole raise bar area all to ourselves) just as the drinks were going to turn expensive. Gotta love that!

Everything else that night went well and made for a very good party. Yet again I managed to get zero action but oh well. The liquor did lube me up enough to tell one gorgeous girl from kickball how incredibly beautiful I thought she was, but alas, that went nowhere. For the record, The Challenege is still in effect. Get cracking people.

Anyway yes, much fun was had and now it's time to look ahead to the Fall season that's just starting to get momentum. Hopefully it will be as fun as the last three :O) If you wanna find kikcball or start it in your area, check out Kickball.com.

Later slackers!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:27 PM, ,

We Are the Champions!!!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Yes, your dear chief slacker is now a champion. At what you may ask?


So yeah, the Godless Whores and all their debauchery shall now forever be enshrined as the Spring 2006 WAKA MN Twin Cities Division Champions!

Winning the league was no small feat. There were ten teams in the league and when the season ended, the Whores and two other teams, TILF and Long Strokes were tied for first record wise at 7-1. While we might not have had talent, we had a ton of heart and healthy supply of alcohol. And hey, we wouldn't be the Godless Whores if we didn't get lucky once in a while right? Most of our games we trailed early but managed to eke out wins. The other two teams were arguably more athletic, and DEFINITELY a lot more full of themselves. While we G-Dubs were having toga, superhero, catholic schoolgirl, 70's, pajama and wig nights, they were being overly bitchy toward refs and generally making the games not as fun. Gladly in the end, we trounced them all!

The playoffs were four rounds. The first round was a play-in for the bottom ranked teams, then a regular 8 teams seeded-bracket from there on out. Due to the Runs Scored-Against Average for the teams we were ranked third. The rankings from first to worst were: TILF, Long Strokes, GWs, Rubba Bubbas, Kick This, The A Holes, Mu Shu Pork Kickda, Mighty Mosquitoes, and the Vistorian Gazing ORBS.

In the first round we matched up against the 6th ranked team "The A-Holes." We tried our best to keep this game light-hearted since the last time we played there ended up being a WHOLE lot of drama. There was some shoddy reffing and one of our team members getting way to feisty with some taunting and a beer crushing incident. This time it went much better, we all stayed friendly and it ended up being a really good, close game. We chose to use the standard method of mostly bunts to fill the bases then bigger kicks to try and drive them home. The Holes were a little more aggressive with their kicks choosing to use more hard kicked grounders than bunts. We got a 2 run lead but they came right back and tied it. In the 4th we scored a run to get us the lead and our defense held strong in the top of the 5th to end the game winning 3-2.

The Final Four pitted us against Long Strokes, the one team who beat us during the regular season. And by beating us, I mean kicked our asses. While a little of it might have been bad reffing, the score in that game was still 11-4. No arguing that. And to top it off they were pretty big jerks during the game so it made it a good deal less fun. Anyway, this game turned out to be much much different. After some other teams had mentioned that they didn't like LS's attitudes they definitely had toned it down a little, but were still pretty cocky. That cockiness went away as we started racking up the runs. We got a couple runs in the second inning sticking with the bunt to load method then a couple of well placed kicks. They managed to keep the game close by shutting us out the next inning or two, but then the floodgates opened. Due to a number of blown catches and some nice aggressive base running we brought home seven more runs and effectively took any fight right out of the Long Strokes. Their pitcher basically gave up and was just kin chucking the ball. They did manage to score three runs in the bottom of the 5th via some REALLY bad overthrows that resulted in a little league home run. However, in the end we paid back the trouncing we received by giving one back and won 9-6.

For the championship game we ended up facing off against 5th seed Kick This. They managed to take out first ranked TILF and we were glad they did. Both of the cocky, mouthy teams went down. Apparently TILF, at one point in the game, turned on their fairly mouthy captain and told her to can it. Alas, the Whores and one of the most fun teams, the "pinkies" due to their shirt color, in the league made it to the finals.

We played hard, but definitely kept it light and had fun during the game. Luckily there was very good reffing and all the teasing and mocking durig the game was friendly. There was lots of cheering though, so much so that we actually had a visit from the Park Police due to a noise complaint. I'm sure I was a good part of that because, well, I'm most certainly not a quiet guy on the field. The game was originally supposed to be 7 innings instead of the usual five, but since it was getting cloudy we made it just five. We kept chipping away and played some really good conservative defense to hold them to only one run. Offensively we kept chipping away and managed to rack up 4 runs before a storm rolled in. We had to call the game in the 4th due to lightning, but since three full innings had been played, The Godless Whores won the game!

After the game we joined the pink team at a local bar and partied it up. We filled the Kickball Cup with a pitcher of beer and passed it around and had all sorts of fun. We even scheduled a scrimmage game against Kick This next week. There were cheers's all around to beating the cocky teams and much other fun!

This Saturday is the End of Season party and we'll have another $900 bar tab to consume! Last time we managed to have 76 pitchers of beer, 50 kamikaze shots and a couple of 100 ounce fishbowls. This party should be even better with a $2 drink special almost all night and a $1 drink special for the first hour. Look out Lodge Bar, here we come!

Anyway, all hail the Champions! Congrats Godless Whores!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:27 PM, ,

The Curse Continues

Friday, July 07, 2006

**An open letter to my new "Friend" from last night**

Dear Dickhead,

I know you think you're all cool. I'm sure you're riding high because you believe you got away with you little heist. You may have thought it was fun to smash the passenger window of my car and steal my pants with my wallet and money in them. You obviously have some big balls since the car was in plain view of a busy intersection and also a busy restaurant with an outdoor patio. What you are short on is brains.

Little do you know I now know exactly which gas station you unsuccesfully tried to use my credit cards at and almost surely have video of you and the car's tank you filled up. If by some chance you are not caught, I wish to warn you that karma's a bitch so you better start watching your ass pansy ass little fucknut.


Chief Slacker

**End Letter**

So yeah, last night while I was having fun playing kickball, some ass decided it would be a fun idea to break the passenger window of my car and grab the work pants I had changed out of. Along with them he got my wallet, credit cards, IDs of all sorts and probably about $60 in cash. He managed to leave a big dent in the roof as well.

Obviously, the Curse has not yet worn off and I an getting mroe anf more scared to drive my car. First the rear end with no damage. Then the idiot parking leaving a red streak and crease. Then, then running of stop sign and marring the front of the car and now Dickhead smahsing my window and stealing my pants and wallet.

Seriously, I SO wish i could afford a new car right now, Ally is most certainly cursed.

OH! And I forgot when I went down to madison this past weekend the check engine light came on. Fun Freakin Fun.

Seriously, let the donations to the Get Slacekr and UnCursed car fun flow in!

Ok, time ot head to the gas station they stopped and and see if they have security cameras.

Later people!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:47 PM, ,

Oh Come ON Congress!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

If anyone wanted proof the Congress seriously had their priorities in the wrong place, look no further than this article:

Christian Film's PG Rating Troubles Congress

Are you serious? It's P-Fricken-G people. Over half of disney's cartoons end up with a PG rating now. I'm sure that if this football coach had been struggling with a Satanic Cult the same politicians would have begged for it to be PG-13 or something. Even if the rating WAS made purely because it was discussing christianity (which it was NOT), why is that such a bad thing? I think "Parental Guidance" should be not only suggested, but expected involved when it comes to the topic of religion.

Anyway Congress, stop pandering to the overtly religious and do your damn job. Myabe, jsut MAYBE, you should worry much more about some Crazy Communist Leader launching missiles toward our country instead of movie ratings?

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:40 PM, ,


Hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend!

Mine kinda sucked, but those things happen! ;O)

I had hoped to get some people to come down to Madison with me to check out the annual Rhythm and Booms fireworks show. The only one who was interested was Conservative Girl. Instead of coming however she chose to sit at home all day and hope they played a little 5-second "hello" from her sorta-boyfriend in Iraq. Nevermind I had the DVR set to record this for her. Can anyone else say "puppy dog?"

I hung out with the mom and some other relatives for a bit on Saturday until the fireworks were rained out. We did meet this adorable girl name Joy on the buss back though. You couldn';t help but feel sorry for her that she was only in town till the next morning and the fireworks got rained out for her.

Sunday night they got the fireworks going, though they did have one glitch part way through. Still, the fireworks were AMAZING like usual. It's always a great show to see 10,000 plus fireworks shot off to explode along with the music. When the singer talks about love, hearts explode, when they talk about rain, huge waterfall effect shells go off. The show definitely lives up to it's billing as one of the best in the nation.

Monday I came back up here to the cities hoping there'd be more going on. I ended up hanging out with G-Spot and her little brother and catching the end of the Taste of Minnesota before we showed him around to some bars in the cities.

On the 4th basically all of my plans fell through and I ended up spending it by myself playing WoW. I took a break to walk down to the hill by the Cathedral and watch the Taste fireworks from there. Also had to light s pack of firecrackers, the 4th just isn't the same without there being some possibility of lighting myself on fire ;O)

Anyway, hope you all had a kick ass time and didn't manage to blow yourselves up! Keep slacking people!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:25 PM, ,


My holiday weekend turned out to be much less eventful than I had hoped, but not bad.

I went dot to Madison for Rhythm and Booms like usual. Unfortunately, I couldn't corral an friends to make the trip with me this year. Conservative girl said she wanted to go, but instead sat around all day at her parent's place like a good little puppy dog hoping a very short recorded "hello" from her sorta-boyfriend would be shown. Never mind I had set the DVR to record this for her anyway. Oh well, at least she can't complain about me not inviting her since I have the past two years now.

The fireworks got rained out on Saturday night, but they shot them off on Sunday and they were AMAZING like usual, I took pictures with my phone, but they pretty much suck. Gotta love 12,000 or so fireworks shot off in beat to the music and doing stuff like hearts when the signer mentions love!

I came back Monday to the cities because I thought there would be a lot going on. Late Monday night I went out with G-Spot and hit up the Taste of Minnesota festival, but we got there to late to do any real gorging. Got to see the fireworks though. Afterward we hung out with her little brother a little bit and took him to some places in the twin cities.

Tuesday ended up sucking ass. I had one party I could have gone too, but underestimated how late it would go and missed out. I knew of other friends (one of whom was Kickball Girl) who were out making a day of it, but when I tried to get back a hold of them I was unsuccessful. I ended up just playing WoW and walking to the Cathedral hill by my place and watching the fireworks from there. Had to light off some fire crackers as well, what's the 4th without making sure there's some chance of me lighting myself on fire? :O)

Anyway, hope you all had a great 4th and no one got blown up!

Keep Slackin!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:09 PM, ,