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The Daily SlackerThe Daily Slacker

Slacker Week - The Slacking Ethos

Friday, October 21, 2005

Since I began the Daily Slacker, one question has come up time and time again: "How can it be slacking if (a) you're posting all the time (b) I have to comment?" So, I believe it's about time to post about the true Daily Slacker Ethos of Slacking.

Believe it or not, slacking is a lot more than doing nothing. Doing nothing is rarely just that and almost always entails some activity. It may be veging out on the couch flipping channels, surfing the web and reading blogs or maybe just sitting under a tree watching squirrels attack innocent bystanders because they're vicious like that.

To be slacking, you simply have to be doing something unproductive and usually that is also keeping you from doing some other task you should be doing. Some people will try to claim that writing blog posts and commenting in them is being productive. Hog. Wash. Ninety-nine percent of blogs out there are wholely un productive. Try as they may, anyone not making a living wage from writing a blog trying to argue otherwise ends up with someone telling them, well, this.

I make no claims to productivity in this blog. In fact, the goal of this blog is to lower the productivity of the world, one reader at a time. We're all going to be replaced my robots one day anyway, may as well prepare the world for it. What else are you going to do while sitting at home while C3-P0 does your old job?

Now, a true slacker will be sure to delay as long as possible before returning to the land of productivity. What this translates to in the blogosphere is spending as much time as you can at each blog. Sure, you can blow through 162 blog entries on 84 blogs, but if you were to comment on each of those posts, you would spend almost twice the amount of time avoiding your TPS reports.

Yes, in order to comment you may actually have to exert some effort in order to type, but that's why they make dictation software. You speak, it types, total laziness. They're even working on eye tracking devices so you don't even have to move the mouse, it'll be like slacker nirvana!

So there you have it, true slackers post and comment. After all, a true slacker is one who follows the International Bureau of Slacking motto: To Slack and Procrastinate. Keep up the slacking people!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:59 PM,


At Fri Oct 21, 08:43:00 PM, Anonymous delmer said...

I did some slacking today while troubleshooting a database purge. It took between 5 and 10 minutes for each purge to run (and fail) ... it's not enough time to start anything productive ... but too freakin' long to sit and watch a program notifying me that it is "waiting for update."

While "waiting for update" I did some blog reading.

In retrospect, this may not have been slacking. I was being as productive as possible given the circumstances. As a matter of fact I may have been multi-tasking.

I guess I still have a lot to learn about slacking. I'll try harder next week.

At Fri Oct 21, 10:01:00 PM, Blogger jlybn123 said...

I was actually PRODUCTIVE all day today! Ugh, it was awful! Hopefully, I won't have to do it again any time soon! (I'll probably have nightmares and need to see a counselor for post working stress syndrome!)

Hope to do some major slacking soon!

At Sat Oct 22, 01:36:00 AM, Blogger Nicholas said...

You have put into words something I have always felt.
I say that if something's not good enough for someone else to do, then it doesn't need to be done, and if someone else is doing something, then I don't have to do it.
I have more important things to do, like spending ten minutes of my time outlining my philosophy on the comments portion of this website.
Someone might ask, "Well, if someone else is not going to post your slacking philosophy, does not your own philosophy prove itself to be false in that the very propagation of this philosophy violates the nature of the philosophy itself?
To this, I say, nonsense.
No one made me do this. Thus any act that is done of free will and not imposed is a slacking activity, and should therefore be praised by all.

At Sat Oct 22, 12:21:00 PM, Blogger Leesa said...

Wow...I guess I'm a slacker :)

At Sat Oct 22, 02:01:00 PM, Blogger FINY said...

Thweet! I inspired a slacker post (ok, so my comment was probably just the straw that broke the camels back, but hey, I'm still proud).

Slacking is hard work!

At Sat Oct 22, 02:49:00 PM, Blogger Chief Slacker said...

Delmer - Any of those time where you finished reading what you wer reading before going and starting the next purge, those were slacker moments. Little by little ;O)

JlyBn - Becareful with that productivity, sometimes it can be addictive! Hopefully you can get back to slacking soon!

Nicholas - Amen my brother!

Leesa - We all are in some way. Keep it up!

FINY - You definitely helped inspire it! Yay you! And no, not hard work, it's keping yourself from hard work ;O)

At Sun Oct 23, 05:10:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what the hell being productive is anymore. Last time I was productive was about 3 years ago.

At Sun Oct 23, 08:47:00 PM, Blogger Kira said...

I did a HELL of a lot of NOTHING today. I ran around, ate, talked, tried to grade and then put it down, and then returned to doing nothing. I hope I'm being a good slackard! I'm tryin' chief!

At Mon Oct 24, 06:03:00 AM, Blogger Porq said...

How can Capt. Bee say he has not been productive in the last three years? Are all those pictures of Lucy Pinder OLD?????

I don't think so!!


At Mon Oct 24, 09:05:00 AM, Blogger Esther said...

I LOVE procrastinating. It's what makes the day go by so much faster.

At Mon Oct 24, 09:54:00 AM, Blogger Anisa said...

LOL! funny, funny! i'm so proud to be a deputy slacker! :)

At Tue Oct 25, 11:31:00 AM, Blogger dasi said...

Yes, you are right. My blogging (and the reading/commenting on OTHER people’s blogs) is most DEFINTIELY slacking. Especially considering the fact that I usually attempt to pretend I am summarizing medical records for Satan while doing said slacking. And since I am not summarizing, I am not doing what I am being paid for, which is NOT slacking, but summarizing said medical records and dealing with crazy clients all day in the law office I like to refer to as Hell. So, yes, I AM a slacker and proud of it.

But as God is my witness, someday I WILL figure out a way to get paid for my slacking/writing. And I will save Tara, too, while I’m at it.

At Tue Oct 25, 11:39:00 AM, Blogger Chef Bouillon said...

You mean writing my own useless blog and posting on numerous others ISN'T productive? Whaaa?

At Tue Oct 25, 01:05:00 PM, Blogger Chief Slacker said...

Captain B - I guess it would be producing something of significance? but who does really know anymore!

Kira - Sounds like you did pretty good, way to procrastinate on the grading ;O)

Porq - heh, taht's one way to think about "productive" ;O)

Esther - yeah, and to think, you could have spent four hours working on that project, why? One our of cramming after three hours of having a fun sound better to me! :O)

Anisa - And I'm proud to have you, keep up the slacking!

Dasi - The problem with that though, is once you start getting paid, it stops being slacking, so you have ot find a NEW way to slack! :O)

Chef B - You may "produce" words on a screen, but it's definitely not producing anything tangible... so, yeah. Though slacking is fun!

At Tue Oct 25, 04:06:00 PM, Blogger Pieces of Me said...

Im a slacker!!

At Tue Oct 25, 04:27:00 PM, Blogger Chief Slacker said...

Pieces - You're a lot more than that, but you definitely are a good one!


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