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The Daily SlackerThe Daily Slacker

Around the Earth 8 Times!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A big congratulations to Ally for reaching a pretty big milestone!

Who's Ally you ask? Well, she's none other than my trusty little 1995 Nissan Altima! She's definitely showing some signs of age, a few rusty spots, certainly has her fair share of squeaks and rattles and various lights that shouldn't come on do from time to time, while ones that should don't anymore. Yet, she still keeps on chugging, still gets about 30mpg and can still even top out the speedo if asked. Err.. Umm... Hypothetically, on a closed course and definitely not ever on the interstate, EVER! Yeah!!

What was that? What makes Ally a she? Well, SINCE you ask... Well, she's got a nice cute roundish shape, can be pretty sassy, she gets really grumpy in hot or cold, and well, she does wear a bra! I mean no guy would be caught dead with a "bro," ya know?

So yeah, the important milestone? Ally hit the big 200k!

I realized I was coming close to hitting the big rollover a little while before Thanksgiving. Since the first owner of Ally was none other than The Mom, I decided I needed to budget my miles for the week so hopefully I could roll the big 200k while visiting the parental units in Madison. The budgeting was a great success and I rolled into Mad town at 199993 miles.

After much turkey eating The Mom and I set out on a 7 mile drive. (Anybody else get the Gilligan's theme song shoot through their head there? Anyway...) We headed off down one of the major streets in the area, hit the end and started a loop back when the Odometer got all niney...

Lotta Nines!

Once we hit the main road again, we started back home and just about when Ally was getting set to turn a lot of nines into a lot of zeroes, we passed a local pub and grill. Deciding it had to be fate to have a celebratory drink, I took the next turn, did a Uey, (I'd never actually thought of the spelling of that word until now...) and just as we pulled into the purveyor of adult beverages:

Holy Zeroes!

Bam! Two Hundred THOUSAND big fatty miles. And still going strong! Assuming they ever pave the equator, that's far enough to circle the globe 8 times! Go Ally go!

Now, here's hoping she survives till I'm done digging out of the unemployment induced debt!

Congrats Ally! Carry on...

posted by Chief Slacker @ 1:54 PM, ,

Gobble Gobble

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Turkey Day All!

Go ahead and take a break from avoiding the zombies to have some fun with your family! Have a good one!


posted by Chief Slacker @ 7:24 AM, ,

The End is Near!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

So, today it was announced there's been a new discovery in genetic research in regards to Stem Cells.

You can here about it here on CNN.

According to this discovery, instead of making stem cells by taking an egg and injecting it with the guts of another cell, they use a virus to screw with the DNA of a standard cell. The virus injects the cell with gene segments that then cause it to start acting almost identically to a stem cell: being able to divide and make new cells of different types.

Hold the presses! I've heard this before!!! Could it be? Could so many of those stories, movies, and video games be right? About what you ask? ZOMBIES!!!

There are many to choose from, but I'll stick to Resident Evil for the sake of, wait no, no reason, I'm just a slacker. Duh!

Anyway, the Resident Evil series may not be at the top end of the spectrum when it comes to Zombie flicks, but they are decent. The reason I'm using them is simply due to the science they present in the storyline.

In Resident Evil, the root cause of the zombie epidemic stems from the "T-Virus." In living humans it could cause rapid cellular growth and also possibly restore damaged cells. Some results of that could be regenerating the damaged nerve cells of a paralyzed person enabling them to walk again or to correct damage to an injured organ. This is the same type of thing they hope to be able to solve using stem cell research.

The problem in Resident Evil is that outside of a lab setting, the effects of the virus could not be controlled. In living people and animals, the virus could cause mutations that turned them into monsters. The "T-Virus" worked so well that it was even able to reanimate dead cells turning dead people into zombies. As well all know, all zombies want to do is kill regular people and are thusly BAD.

According to that article, scientists have just created what could be the predecessor to a real life "T-Virus." What's worse is that it actually worked, and they even admit that outside of a lab setting, at the very least, it would likely cause cancer.

So yeah, pardon me while I go stock up on supplies and weapons for the impending apocalypse. On second thought, I suddenly have craving... for... BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:10 PM, ,

Not Santa Too!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

First it was hugs... now SANTA???

Honestly, if women walk by a sign during the holidays and think they're being called out... They have a lot worse issues than just being slutty.

I'm telling ya, thought-crimes are right around the corner...

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:44 PM, ,

Down With Policies! Hugs For ALL!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Policy making has run amok, plain and simple.

Today, while looking through my company’s Policies and Procedures area I came across this:

Company Policies:
-0001 Policy for Policies

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that policy was developed after someone made a meeting to set a meeting to discuss a meeting. Just maybe.

Later I found this article on Time.com via CNN.

Banning hugs???? What the heck has this world come to?

Now, I’m a firm believer that wars could be averted if people could just learn to hug more. We need MORE hugging, not less. This is the most ridiculous school policy I’ve heard of since that one school in Iowa banned mystery meat.

This isn’t an isolated thing either! According to the article it’s spreading. Some schools have even gone to the extreme and disallowed all contact between students! No hugs, no high fives, no nurples, no grundies, not even a pinky shake to seal a deal.

It’s just plain wrong. We want to train our children that affection is wrong and should be punished? Where is the basis in this? Oh, wait, it’s for “traffic control.” Like anyone really wants to get to third period ancient world history anyway! And if they do, they probably need a hug worse than anyone.

Really what comes next after that? Suspending kids for thought-crimes? All hail Big Brother! 2+2=5!

This out of control policy making must be stopped. Let the kids show their friendship. Let them learn to express affection! Let them have their rights of passage! There are enough parents that screw up kids to the point they don’t know how to love. Let’s not train them to be that way in school too!

I say we stage mass Hug-Ins across the country! Who’s with me? HUGS FOR ALL!

posted by Chief Slacker @ 1:07 PM, ,

Fun With Facial Hair

Thursday, November 01, 2007

posted by Chief Slacker @ 4:49 PM, ,