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The Daily SlackerThe Daily Slacker

Now Voice Activated!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

So I read an article on CNN a little bit ago that talked of an "Office of the Future" called Bluespace Someplace north of Manhattan. They're researching what workspaces will be like in 10-20 years. I suddenly realized how tools that are going to aid productivity are going to make the workplace a much more irritating place.

I'm starting to think that Voice activation is going to be the worst technology ever invented. I know everyone has a co-worker they just can't stand to listen to. The SNL Pat of your office. The person with the voice that makes nails on a chalkboard sound soothing. No matter how loud you turn up the headphones, nothing drowns out that voice... Now imagine having to hear that non-stop, ALL DAY!

Office massacres are going to skyrocket.

I have the unfortunate seat just to the left of a lady we'll call "The Voice". I'm positioned so she's about 10 feet directly behind my head. The worst sound in the world is when she overhears a conversation she think's is funny, never mind it on the other side of the office. It's a little giggle but sound more like she's gagging on a hairball. you know she's going to try and come join the conversation. Instant convo killer. And even when you walk away or turn around and start working, she just keeps talking. To top it off she has an elderly mother and seems to have no problem talking about her mother's BMs and yeast infections on the phone at high volume.

I do NOT want to hear her talking ALL DAY.

Office Massacres. I'm telling ya.

The other freaky part of the Office of the Future was emotionally adaptive artwork. You can have pictures and colors projected on your walls that change with your mood. Is that something we really want? I think half of every day my picture would just be a hand flipping the bird with a caption "Sorry, the get it done today dealine was 10am. Piss Off." the other half of the day it would be Kiera Knightley in leather or something.

So, what would your picture be?

posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:11 PM,


At Wed May 25, 10:23:00 PM, Blogger Cerridwen said...

definitely a picture of a guy in his boxer shorts that is close to perfection...and a picture of a door that will remind me there is a way out. :P

At Thu May 26, 09:23:00 AM, Blogger Sub Girl said...

a picture of a beach because that's as far away from the office as that'll get...and a picture of my bed, to remind me what i'm missing. not sure if that's really motivating though...


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