Psycho #2 takes the lead
Wednesday, June 01, 2005So apparently the whole psycho talk of a couple posts ago somehow subliminally made it to OCD-Anxiety Girl. She must have caught wind that I was comparing her psycho-ness to someone else and had to raise the bar.
Last night she called and asked if I wanted to meet her and another friend for a drink on a newly built patio of an Irish bar downtown. Since it was a beautiful day, I couldn't turn that down.
So we go have a few drinks, then when she's giving me a ride home, she decides that either I should sleep over at her place or she should sleep over at mine.
No.
Bad plan.
All the reasons I gave her didn't seem to sink in. A. Dating someone, B. You've been drinking and you'll try and get frisky and I don't want that, C. Dating someone, D. I never slept all that well when we used to sleep together, E. DATING SOMEONE.
So I get out of the car, she's all upset and drives off. In true OCD-AD girl form, she calls 20 minutes later telling me how I don't care because I didn't call to make sure she made the 12 block drive home ok. She's not good enough to hang out with and I never care enough to do this and that. How come she's not good enough to date? Why is she such a bad person? Why can't I be nice to her? She was just digging herself this big hole in the middle of her very own pity-fest. The phone convo ended when she said something like "If you're going to be that mean to me then stop talking to me." So I said "Ok" and hung up.
She called and left a 3 minute voicemail after that saying all the same pity-fest things all over.
At what point does it stop being worth it to be friends with someone?
I've been as nice as I can. I give her reassuring answers like "You are good enough and worth dating. I don't think otherwise, but our personalities don't make for a good match." She's fine with that up until the "but." All she ever wants to hear are positives, yet all she ever brings up are negatives. I'm a both sides of the coin kinda guy, but all she ever wants to her is what will make her happy. Problem is if that's all I say, I'm leading her on and making her think I want to date when I don't.
It's a no-win situation it seems. If I'm nice to her she takes it as wanting to date and I'm leading her on. If I stand up to her and be realistic to try and make her see we're not compatible, or stop letting her push me into something, I'm an asshole.
Any sane person would have probably stopped talking to her a long time ago, but not me. I'm too nice to be the asshole and say "piss off, stop talking to me." At the same time though, I'm sick of having to deal with that crap.
Hi Rock! Hi Hard Place! I think we're going to be good friends.
posted by Chief Slacker @ 9:48 AM,
7 Comments:
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At Wed Jun 01, 11:58:00 AM,
Chief Slacker said...
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I think her problem is that even though it's obvious we don't click in the right ways, she harbors some idea that things could be good. I don;t think I'm the one to give any lessons though ;O)
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At Wed Jun 01, 07:25:00 PM,
said...
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You gotta drop her like she is HOT, dude.
Way too much baggage to be doing anything there. You can't even do a 'hit and run' on her because she'd get attached.
You need to pitch her, for sure. Toss her and just play the field.
I should also let you know I have a certain ruthlessness in my dealings with women. ;) -
At Wed Jun 01, 07:32:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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I could probably use a lot more ruthlessness. heh.
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At Thu Jun 02, 08:12:00 PM,
Pink said...
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ditch the fruitcake and dont look back!!
maybe u could soften the blow by paying for her first session wt a therapist :)
u do sound like a bit of a chandler... but he did what he had to do, as do u! -
At Sat Jun 04, 03:08:00 PM,
Cerridwen said...
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huhmm...really...some women are hard to explain :P you are better off NOT even talking to her for now...
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At Mon Jun 06, 12:06:00 PM,
jlybn123 said...
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She sounds like a nightmare that won't stop...everytime you fall asleep, it starts right where it left off before! Ugh! I think it's more trouble than what it's worth!!
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At Tue Jun 07, 10:48:00 AM,
Tamanna said...
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I feel sorry for her. You're all mean.
The girl clearly has self esteem issues, and if you don't see a future with her, as a friend or otherwise, I would suggest letting her down gently, but soon.
Otherwise she'll just cling and not get over you.
She'll thank you for it one day.
Probably.
She might hit you first though