My Car, is Cursed.
Thursday, June 29, 2006Before I blabber about my car, I have to say that Pajama night tonight at kickball could get interesting. My new team this year, The Godless Whores, is a fun bunch. Both Superhero and Toga nights went well. Don't ask me what superhero I was, I dunno, American Weirdo? heh. Anyway, yeah, much fun will be had ;O)
Anyway, yeah, Car = Cursed. Poor old "Ally" the 95 Nissan Altima. Since the Friday before I started at my new job, it's been hit by other vehicles THREE FREAKIN TIMES. And that's just that I know of since I don't exist in my car 100% of the time. That Friday some dumbass rear-ended be while I was stopped for a red turn arrow. He got lucky there was no damage short of a tiny little paint chip. The second one was a week and a half ago (or so, since I didn't notice the damage right away) some bastard in a fire-engine red vehicle apparently turned a little too wide while parking and managed to leave a twelve inch streak of punk-ass car's paint from the bumper onto the fender and crinkled said fender. Never did find this guy, but believe me, I look at the front of every bright red car I see. Then, yesterday I'm driving to work and Captain Numb-nuts decided to blow through a stop sign right in front of me. Lucky for him I had my breaks fixed a month ago so instead of completely T-boning him, I was able to stop enough so that he only tore the front end cover and scraped the bumper while I dented his door and rear fender. I got his name and info, he got a traffic ticket for running a stop sign and promises to pay for a new front end cover plus $100. You better believe I got it in writing.
In this time frame I have also been cut off on the interstate so severely that I had to swerve onto the shoulder once and screech the tires while breaking once. I swear my car has some cloaking device that randomly makes it invisible to other drivers.
Oh that and hitting a pothole the other day produces the following sounds: "Clunk, Crack, Sproing, clunka clunka." That would be the sound of a coil spring breaking.
I don't know what I or my car did that got it such bad Carma (hehe, get it? Oh god that was lame...) but it sucks none the less.
I am hereby starting a charity drive. We'll call it Safe Wheels for Slacker 2006. The goal of the drive is to either get Slacker a better car that is not cursed, or raise enough money to hire some voodoo lady to remove the nasty hex.
Please please contribute what you can to this, the roads are dangerous enough as it is without having a large meta-physical target type thing on my vehicle. At this rate it's just a matter of time before something like THIS happens to me! ;O)
P.S. If you or someone you know is a crazy voodoo lady who happens to be good at removing curses and stuff, you know, like, get a hold of me PLEASE! :O)
posted by Chief Slacker @ 3:07 PM,
6 Comments:
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At Thu Jun 29, 04:04:00 PM,
Esther said...
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I'd donate, but I'm saving money for the "save Esther from crazy roommates fund"
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At Thu Jun 29, 04:10:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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If the new car has a big back seat, you're welcome to live there. It's gotta be able to same size as some of those NY apartments ;O)
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At Fri Jun 30, 07:06:00 PM,
Kira said...
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I'm sorry, but I'm not sure it's the car. I think you yourself are attracting the accidents, and that means a new car would just get banged up too. Get the voodoo lady to lift the curse first ;)
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At Sat Jul 01, 07:48:00 AM,
Porq said...
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Voo-doo Lady??? Nah, just rely on good ol' MISS BEER!!
Call her anytime and call her often. She'll take the hexes off, or at least you won't care!!!
NAZDROWIA!!!
OINK -
At Sat Jul 01, 10:47:00 PM,
said...
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I had an '84 Olds Cutlass Supreme -- many years ago.
Before I made the first payment someone ran into the driver's door. Hit and run. I wasn't near the car when it happened.
It was stolen and crashed in the driver's front corner panel.
It was stolen again and damaged in roughly the same place.
A guy named John Smith (honest) pulled in front of me and I hit him. Damaging the same panel.
Someone backed into the driver-side door. That someone was a relative and their insurance covered the damage.
Over time the paint went to crap and got that tired, dead look that red cars of that era fall victim to.
The whole car looked like hell. Except the driver's door and driver-side corner panel. The paint on those parts was never too old.
Hope you get over the curse. -
At Wed Jul 05, 02:34:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Kira - Hush with that negativity! Though maybe this is true and also accounts for my shitty dating record lately? Hmmm...?
Porq - Very true! Though Much of miss beer means an almost for sure chance of accident ;O)
Delmer - Yike! at least Ally hasn't hit taht stage of curesedness, but we'll see :O(