The Secret to My Success Suckage
Monday, June 12, 2006So as you've read through the 13 or so months this blog has been active, my history with the opposite sex has been, well, not so spiffy. With some of the women, like The Cute Paramedic or OCD Anxiety Girl, the issues seem to be on their side of the fence. But with many of the others I have to believe the trouble comes from my side. Let's take Eclectic Girl as the most recent example. I have to believe any issues there, would be much the same as any of my other recent relationships. Looking back at this one, the answer was fairly clear:
My ADD Brain.
While I might not hear from her again, I was lucky enough to at least get one message from Eclectic Girl. It turns out, my mixed up brain managed to turn one mistake into about, oh, six or seven. Or More.
Her message was a pretty good rundown on the ways I screwed up and how the way my brain works, just ain't the same as most peoples. This, unfortunately can cause some issues, especially early on in a relationship.
So the whole laundry list of issues started last week Tuesday, I text messaged EG to see if she wanted to get together, she called back and was out with friends but said she would see me at the bar Wednesday. I assumed that meant she would come out. We all know what they say about assuming... Also, while I might be fairly pessimistic about finding relationships, when I do I fall on the opposite hand and tend to be probably overly optimistic. While the EG thing may not be as much relationship as arrangement, it's still much the same. I really need to not look forward to something that's not an actual planned event.
That was all normal circumstance, until the brain kicked in. Wednesday comes along and doesn't really go according to plan from the start because Stub and Herb's decided to cancel their poker night. Usually G-Spot plays poker and I play trivia. Since it was cancelled, the poker peeps decided to head to a different bar, which I really didn't feel like going to. I decided to chill there and see if Eclectic Girl would show.
Now don't confuse ADD with ADHD. They are related, but the H is for hyperactivity, so both mental and physical continual motion, and I've never had a problem with that. By nature, I'm a really laid back kinda guy. I like to chill out with friends and chat. Personality wise I'm a really relaxed kinda guy. ADD is just in the head and unfortunately, the only time the altogether too many channels of my brain relax is when I've had a few drinks. The problem there is not knowing which channel the brain will settle in to. Sometimes it's called over-analyzing, but that's a much more intentional thing than what my brain does.
Here's about a minute of the various channels of my brain last Wednesday:
Ch1: Sucks that G-Spot left, hope the poker night is good over there. Ch8: Man, Trivia sucks tonight. Ch3: Wonder where EG is? Thought she said she's stop by tonight. Ch12: The whiskey diet from that side of the bar tastes different from the one he poured me on the other side, wierd. Ch5: EG's probably at work or out with friends or something. No biggie. Ch6: I should go out on the patio, it's a gorgeous night, wait, no trivia. Ch11: Oh hey, I left a voice mail, but her phone's been stupid, I should leave a text message so she hears it. Ch2: OOOH! I know this answer! Ch9: I hope she's not sick or something from getting drunk last night... And on and on. It's like that one TV show, called "Dave's Head" or something, where you had the four parts/personalities of his brain as characters except instead of 4, I have like 43.
So yeah, I think it ended with a voice mail and a few text messages, then a few more text messages across the week whenever the thought of her popped in my head. Not until later I realized I had sent one or two every day for like four days and that was too much. Then the various egos inside the head convinced each other to send one last more playful message and leave it at that. Most of the messages were sent with the mindset of friendliness, not desperation, but perspective is everything...
To seal the deal with a big fat dumbass cherry, I wrote that last blog post. The post itself wasn't the deal, but the part where I opined about her past relationship was a bad plan. The bad part was that in my head, this had nothing to do with her, it was one channel of the brain thinking about all the bad recent relationships mentioned by G-Spot or Conservative Girl and other friends while the other channel was writing a blog post. Unfortunately they blended. After the snafu with the Hot Friend picture, and recently hurting my friendship with The Mistress o Charades due to my comments about Punster and the awkward double date and then this, I am hereby making sure to not comment or opine about anyone's life other than my own. It just gets me in trouble later when what I wrote turns out to have been a brain scrambled version of what I really meant.
The crappy part is, I don't realize any of this is causing a problem till it's too late. Maybe one of these days the channels will finally synch, or maybe I'll find a girl who can relate or that it doesn't bother. Who knows.
Anyway, hopefully I'll see Eclectic Girl again as I really did like her company. I did send a message back apologizing, but who knows if that mattered or not. At the least, actually getting some feedback will make things go better in the future. But until then, next time you're thinking about desert, but ask someone for your briefcase and accidentally say "Can you hand me my cake?" Think of me and smile would ya? ;O)
Later peeps! Keep Slackin!
posted by Chief Slacker @ 11:03 AM,
5 Comments:
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At Mon Jun 12, 03:03:00 PM,
said...
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"The crappy part is, I don't realize any of this is causing a problem till it's too late"
This might be a guy thing as much as an ADD thing. Unfortunately, we seem to be clueless when it comes to women.
(Sorry for your misfortune.)
Please note: I am not a doctor ... nor do I play one on the Internet. -
At Mon Jun 12, 05:38:00 PM,
Porq said...
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BEER!!
Ask any question, and the answer will be BEER!
Can't find a girl friend = BEER.
Can't find a job = BEER.
Sometime in your lifetime you will be forced to eat a shit sandwich. Might be bad , but at least enjoy the bread. and then there's BEER!
OINK -
At Mon Jun 12, 06:33:00 PM,
said...
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You should watch the movie "Swingers" with Vince Vaughn, circa 1995-ish.
Go rent it today. i.e. now. You could benefit a lot from watching it.
Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
Sue: ...big fucking teeth, man.
Trent: Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
Sue: Shivering.
Trent: Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
Sue: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...
Trent: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue: You're like a big bear, man.
Mike: So you're not just like fucking with me?
Trent: No I'm not fucking with you.
Sue: Honestly, man. -
At Tue Jun 13, 11:50:00 AM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Delmer - yeah, I think this is pretty true, I can give great advice on relationships to anyone else, but when it comes to my own... heh.
porq - yeah and read then I'll have to follow it up with some coffee ;O)
Cap - yeah I love that movie, Though i think sometimes I may go for the kill to quickly...? -
At Wed Jun 14, 04:50:00 PM,
Aliecat said...
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Man, it sucks being single...