I'm a little TPOT.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Flower: [about two birds fluttering around] Well! What's the matter with them?
Thumper: Why are they acting that way?
Friend Owl: Why, don't you know? They're twitterpated.
Flower, Bambi, Thumper: Twitterpated?
Friend Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head's in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you're walking on air. And then you know what? You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!
Thumper: Gosh, that's awful.
Flower: Gee whiz.
Bambi: Terrible!
Friend Owl: And that ain't all. It could happen to anyone, so you'd better be careful.
[points at Bambi]
Friend Owl: It could happen to you…
[points at Thumper]
Friend Owl: … or you, or even...
[Flower looks at Owl shyly]
Friend Owl: Yes, it could even happen to you!
Thumper: Well, it's not gonna happen to me.
Bambi: Me neither.
Flower: Me neither.
Chief Slacker: Me neither.
So, Saturday when I was out with Calvin for his birthday this Outkast song comes on. The lyrics were, well, stupid, but the refrain kinda hit me: "Love hater, hater of love." Yeah, that's totally me right now. Unfortunately for me it's spring. Spring means twitterpation season. Twitterpation season means Chief Slacker has to do his best not to be bitter and reclusive. Bitter and reclusive is no good. Therefore spring is no good. We'll call this the transitive property of twitterpation. TPOT for short.
Yeah, basically due to TPOT I really hate this season. I completely enjoy the warm weather that eventually comes with it, but there always seems to be something lacking. Usually the void seems to be centered in the relationship department. The bigger problem is that everyone I know seems to hook up around me. Conservative Girl is all infatuated with her Net Boy, Miss Charades has her new Punster, I found out last week the last single person I know at work is now dating someone (and this is NOT a small company) and it just keeps going. I feel like a terrible friend lately because I just can't really find it in me to be happy for them. I want to be, as a friend should, but it's just not there. I felt extra bad last night when G-Spot called to say "He hasn't called me!!!" because this guy she really likes didn't call like he said he would and I was actually a little bit glad. I completely ignored phone calls from CG Sunday because I just didn't want to deal with all that either. I'm officially crossing over into bitter asshole land and I don't like it.
"Wait, what about Bright Eyes?" you ask? Well, that's quickly turning out to be another one (and a half) date wonder. She called me last week Tuesday to apologize for not calling since she had been super busy and promised to call later in the week. It's now next week. We talked of going to church together sometime, so I called Sat to see if she wanted to, but no answer. This is getting to be a pretty standard routine.
It's probably my own fault. Maybe it's because I always look left and right before crossing the street. Maybe I just need to take Friend Owl's advice and look "neither to the left, nor to the right," and hope the thing I run smack into is indeed a pretty face, worthy of twitterpation, and not a speeding bus.
Tea makes me yack, so the sooner I get rid of the TPOT, the better.
posted by Chief Slacker @ 12:20 PM,
1 Comments:
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At Tue Mar 28, 12:01:00 AM,
Chief Slacker said...
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yeah, because tellung me that I make you sad really makes me feel better :O(