Multiple Monday
Monday, November 13, 2006Damn that Comcast. And Big Mike. Well, who knows for sure, but one or both of them is to blame for killing the Post-a-Day plan. For some reason, either billing issues or technical issues the cable has been out since Friday night. I plopped down to watch Numbers, and get some lame error about how the DVR has no signal. Yay! As luck would have it, Big Mike was out of town all weekend and I’m not on the cable account. I’m not exactly sure why the guy has a cell phone when he never answers it!!!
Anyway, I DID write the posts though, so you are all blessed with getting three posts in one today! If I was an official NaBloPoMo participant, I would have actually tried to go somewhere to get them posted, but yeah, I’m a slacker, what can I say? One of these days I’ll get my laptop running again so I can mosey on over to the coffee shop if need be… until then, I just get to bitch about not having net if it dies.
Enough complaining, time for posting. Here are this weekends posts. Enjoy!
Saturday - Express Lane Lunacy
I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m a pretty laid back guy. Ok, maybe my kickball teammates will disagree, but Kickball Slacker in competitive mode is like Bruce Banner when angry, he’s a whole different animal. Anyway, I’m quite tolerant and relaxed usually, things don’t bug me. Ask OzzyC, a typical answer from me is “Hey, whatever! I’m cool. If you do want to bug me however, be illogical.
So today Conservative Girl and I hit up this candle warehouse sale thing. I picked up a crap load of smelly good candles for a buck a piece. CG and I both bought a few dozen candles since they were at such a nice bargain price. The majority of my buys were a dozen “Midnight Sky” candles for my firelabra and a half dozen of the super smelly good “White Chocolate Mocha” tin candles. Slacker HQ will be smelling quite nifty for a while.
**Quick Side Note – A few dozen candles that may smell really nummy individually do NOT necessarily commingle well… Proper ventilation may be required.**
Little did we know, after leaving the waxy wonderland we’d up sitting around in the express lane.
While the traffic around the Mall of America was unusually horrid, the road traffic was the least of my day’s annoyance. The express lane I speak of is the IKEA checkout lane.
We decided we needed some food and the Swedish meatballs of IKEA were calling our names. Not only could we munch on Swedish meaty goodness, would could also pick up some other cheap items of Swedish goodness. I snagged some picture frames for stuff I want to hang up in the living room, while CG got some cute arty rubber ducky postcards.
Now, I love express checkout lanes in stores. You get in the nifty X-items or less lane and don’t have to worry about thinking you’re in the short line, only to find out the person three people up has 352 that they’re buying. Well, unless there’s that inevitable person trying to sneak by with X+12 items. That’s a rant for a different post though. But, the definition of annoying though could very well be getting in the 5-items or less line, seeing everyone with only a few items, but then watching every line around you go MUCH faster than yours.
From my vantage point about 6 people back, it started with a somewhat annoyed man having a discussion with the cashier over what I’ll assume was the receipt. During said discussion, 3 people with a total of about 213 items were checked out in the next lane over. Next came the manager type person to help figure things out, only to leave again. Two more people with a total of about 83 items shuffle their way by one of which was incredibly hot. Distraction appreciated. Back comes manager type person with superior manager type person who came equipped with a card full of bar codes. Apparently a laser scanning the Card of Holy Bar Codes isn’t enough to placate the guy holding up “express” lane. Gone is the hottie and her 13ish items of Swedish goodness. Replacing her is some dude picking his nose. I kid you not. At this point I’m now wishing IKEA sold firearms. Twenty minutes from when we finally got in line dude and his measly 2 items of Swedish goodness FINALLY head for the exit and the rest of the checkout process ensues.
I finally got to the checkout and sent my frames down the conveyor. When I got to the cashier, I had to ask “So, have a problem with the checkout there?” The answer would set off an illogical fury of massive proportions. “Well, I just started a little while ago and there was something I didn’t know how to fix.” Vision of backhanding manager type person and superior manager type person start flying through my head.
Do drivers Ed teachers have their first time drivers hop in the express lane of the highway? Hell no! They may be daring people, but they’re not insane! This is the EXPRESS lane people! This is for the power shoppers who like to get in, get their Swedish goodness (and maybe some meatballs) and get the heck out. We want the checkout person to be at one with the Swedish Zen. Put the newbies in lanes with large amounts of goods, people will understand if they screw up when checking out 184 items of Swedish goodness MUCH more than a purchase of 3.
Apparently IKEA is a GREAT place to go if you want to buy nifty inexpensive furniture and great stuff to organize. It is not however a bastion of logical though. It’s all about the logic people. Logic.
Arg, well at least when I got home I got to clear the head by looking at this adorably funny picture.
Sunday – Border Battle
In case you didn’t know, the official NFL team of the Daily Slacker is the Green Bay Packers. Hey! It even rhymes! Cool!
Anyway, today is one of two times a season I tend to have a hard time living in Minnesota, land of the purple pansies, err, umm, the Minnesota Vikings. Twice a year the Pack and the Vikes face off in epic battle. Last year was tragic as the Vikings managed to take both of the games with last second field goals. Being the lone packer fan among my friends and usually at work I get a lot of ribbing for this.
After last year’s dismal season for the Pack, I had been worried that this season would, like my life, be a rebuilding year. Besides the ageless Brett Favre, the Packer have a ton of rookies playing. The beginning of the season was rough, losing a couple tight games, but they’re starting to look pretty decent. They even managed to pull off something they hadn’t done very often since Favre’s been behind center: win in the Metrodome.
That’s right! My Pack won the first of the two border battles this season! They looked pretty good, not making any mistakes and playing some pretty good defense. At the onset of the season people thought that Green Bay and Detroit would be duking it out for last place in the NFC central, but it’s looking a bit more competitive than that. Granted, they’re only 4-5 and are a long shot for the playoffs, but hey, we beat the damn Vikings. Chicago is not nearly as good as a lot of people think. Yeah they have a great defense, but Rex Grossman is going to lose them more games. With seven games left to the season, who knows what could happen.
For now, and for the next few week though, I get to gloat about my beloved Packers beating those mangy Vikings! Go Pack Go!
posted by Chief Slacker @ 11:09 AM,
