Long Weekend: The Trial
Tuesday, July 12, 2005Either as a cruel joke for my Ban Stupidty post, or possibly as a "damn skippy" to it, I ended up in court on this past friday to help defend my friend against his Soon To Be Ex-wife.
This STB-X is the complete epitome of what I said was wrong with marriage. He was, and unfortuantely still somewhat is, in love with her, but it's debatable whether she was ever in love with him. We're fairly certain that she just wanted to get married, and it didn't matter to who. since they got back from their honeymoon on, she never really seemed that happy to be married to him.
On New Years, Big Mike got what seemed like evidence she was cheating. She had him look at a text message on her phone, and he happened upon a few from her to an unknown friend talking about how they enjoyed their time together and how much they had been thinking of each other. I'm not sure anyone could consider that JUST friendly conversation. Not long ago he got some other incriminating evidence, but hadn't directly confronted her about it yet.
Then Wednesday happened. Big Mike shows up to work, during his break a man he doesn't know hands him an envelope with his name on it. The contents of this neat little gift? A Temprorary Restraining order, he can't go home or be within so far of her without a peace officer being present.
So, he gets ahold of an officer so he can go home and get clothes and other stuff since I told him he could stay at my place. Once he gets to the house he finds a second cruel joke: she changed the locks. And we have a new contender for the Mega-Bitch Hall of Fame folks.
The restraining order was a joke. It included one incident where he supposedly hit her while hurting their cat, but in reality was a reflex block because she was lunging for their cat which was on his lap. The other information she gave to make this and "immanent threat" to her safety was an even bigger joke. She claimed that he "made a habit" of keeping swords in the bedroom to kep her scared, that he practiced martial arts DAILY, and that his physical size intimidates her. Except for the fact that he has gained 20 lbs because he stopped practicing any martial arts when they got married, he's the same size as when they got married... wasn't he intimidating then? As for the swords, SHE decided on the opriental theme in the bedroom and thought of the idea to up the swords Big Mike had BEFORE they got married on a decorative rack. there was also some stuff in the write up taht talked about how he had berated her for giving him bad directiosn when she wanted him a come pick her up from this walk four days prior to her filing the TRO.
Yes, Big Mike is a big guy with formal training in serveral martial arts, but in 7 years of knowing the guy I've NEVER seen him even attempt to hurt anyone. Yeah, I've seen him use his size to intimidate when the situation calls for it, but never in a bad way and never to someone he has a relationship with. AEven two of his Exes taht cheated on him and told him.
The TRO was total B.S. And that's all before the trial.
I had to drag myself out of a very comfy situation including a Kickball Girl (more on taht later) and go to court, only to not testify because it was completely unneccesary. For the record I am mad at STB-X for that, no one else. We all got ready and afte waiting a hour past when the hearing was usupposed to be, we all walked up to the courtroom. STB-X had brought a lawyer while Big Mike had been advise it wouldn't be needed. That worried us on Big Mike's side, until we heard back from the inside. STB-X had called two witnesses before Mike got to call his and one of them had come out smiling, so we got a little more worried. STB-X had already lied to get a TRO, what else might she try and lie about in court? Then Charlie got called in. When he came back out he said her lawyers cross-examine culminted in this "So, there are times when you weren't around these two, when these things could have happenend?" His Answer "They are a married couple, they're going to have time to themselves eventually."
There was finally a recess, Big Mike came out and filled us in on what had happened. Then first witness had told of the walk/berate thing, but didn't portray it nearly as badly as the write up did. When Big Mike got to question her and she denied seeing any verbal or physical abuse, and denied seeing him hurting the cat or doing any martial arts. After the first witness the Judge asked STB-X if she had any "Valid" witnesses. After the second one she cut off anymore witnesses from STB because it was the same stuff over again. She only allowed mike one of his 5 witnesses saying: "You won't need more than one."
During the recess STB-X came out crying, my guess is because she knew she was going to lose horribly. After the recess Mike told us he had been cleared and the judge reprimanded STB-X for bringing such a weak case. And a weak case it most definitely was.
The only reason we can think she had for doing this was simply that she wanted out, but wanted to make Big Mike out to be the bad guy. If he was the bad guy, she wouldn't have to feel guilty about getting a divorce from him. This is the same guy who had slept on my futon for a while to give her space, only to be called back by her to take care of her when she hurt her foot.
Anyway, it turned out well, now he just needs to sort out the divorce stuff and move on. She needs to be banned from marriage. they need to tattoo people like her with " Do Not Marry" on her forehead or something.
We went out to eat to celebrate and then went and watched The Fantastic Four. It was ok, but no exeptional. You can tell it was basically just to introduce you to them so they can make more movies about them later.
posted by Chief Slacker @ 1:04 PM,
10 Comments:
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At Tue Jul 12, 02:42:00 PM,
Marie said...
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Oh, man! She's what gives us nice gals a bad name. ;-) Seriously, the drama she created here just to alleviate and shift some of her crap onto Big Mike is HORRIBLE. What a waste of time and resources too. Your friend deserves so much better. I hope he's hanging in okay considering all of this.
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At Tue Jul 12, 02:53:00 PM,
Sunny said...
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Wow- I agree with Marie- women like that give us ALL a bad name.
Forget her!! -
At Tue Jul 12, 03:08:00 PM,
Tamanna said...
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Yes, there are some losers out there who will always attempt to manipulate situations in order to get what they want, but it shouldn't make your friend bitter about the experience in general.
Guys that commit are hard to find, and once he's out on the market again, and puts this unfortunate episode behind him, he'll see it's for the best, even though it doesn't seem that way now. -
At Tue Jul 12, 03:15:00 PM,
Becki said...
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Dude, I hate girls. If I wasn't one of them I swear I'd boycott.
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At Tue Jul 12, 06:08:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Marie - he;s doing allright, apparently he spent the night with a girl he met at the bar on saturday ;O) She's jsut plain stupid though
Sunny - There-s nice gals like you and marie, and then ther's the Heinous Bitch category.... -
At Tue Jul 12, 06:10:00 PM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Marie - he;s doing allright, apparently he spent the night with a girl he met at the bar on saturday ;O) She's jsut plain stupid though
Sunny - There-s nice gals like you and marie, and then ther's the Heinous Bitch category....
Fudge - he knows it's for the best now, but does feel badly about his nmarriage failing. But see above...
Aurora - Girls are fine... She's in the category above...
Jlybn - He'll be good to go, she's put herself in a bad spot for negotiations later! -
At Tue Jul 12, 07:13:00 PM,
Jezzy said...
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Wow - what a scary, scary woman!
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At Wed Jul 13, 09:05:00 AM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Marie - Don't we all? I think they need buttons too.
Jezzy - Yah, she went fom a nice girl to psycho. It's a shame.
Becki - yeah, she should have had to pay more than just the $350 court fee for that. Her time in court was making someone else who really needed it wait. I'm sure he'll do just fine. -
At Wed Jul 13, 09:09:00 AM,
Carrie said...
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wow. what a mess.
good luck to your friend, and good riddance to the STBX BIZITCH!!! -
At Wed Jul 13, 09:17:00 AM,
Chief Slacker said...
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Carrie - yeah, it sucked, He'll definitely be happy when it's all said and done.